Here’s what you need to know
Emotional masochism can have its roots in toxic parents. If you grew up being told that there is something wrong with you or that you fail at everything, you might just end up believing it.
Sources: (Coaching-Online) (InStyle) (The Mental Health Update)
When things start to go well, you have a tendency to self-sabotage your happiness. If this sounds like you, then you might be an emotional masochist.
Beliefs like these can be really destructive and they can stop you from ever being happy. Perhaps you're just so attached to pain and suffering that you believe it's who you are.
Maybe you started eating healthier or started working out, only to quit shortly after because it's too hard. Or perhaps it's just another failure you can add you can add to the misery.
Emotional masochists often reject support from friends. Anything that would help solve the problem and make them feel good is not welcomed because, ultimately, it would make the negative feelings subside.
Dwelling on bad experiences is not good, but letting them define you as a person is even worse. If you do so, you might be an emotional masochist.
You settle and quit easily because you don't believe you deserve to reach your full potential. Following one's dreams is just something other people do, not you.
From sad songs and movies, to tragic news stories and fear-inducing social media posts, you try to get your fix of indignation, fear, and sadness, whenever you can.
This is the rationale many emotional masochists use to explain why they are so unhappy. Everyone deserves happiness, including you!
And once you're done with the healthy relationship, you go back to that person who you already know is not good for you.
Because emotional masochists thrive on toxic relationships, they sometimes don't recognize or appreciate when one is healthy. This is usually because negative emotions are not triggered as often, which is unfamiliar.
Disagreeing just for the sake of it and arguing about petty things is a waste of time and energy, unless you're an emotional masochist.
You might know what to do about a situation, either because you figured it out for yourself or someone offered you good advice. Yet, you still choose to continue in the unpleasant situation. This is emotional masochism.
Do you love gossip and thrive on drama? That might be a sign you're an emotional masochist.
Pointing out when others do wrong is also a sign of emotional masochism. This does nothing for the wellbeing of either person or their relationship, but the emotional masochist does get a somewhat righteous boost of confidence.
You may call it pessimism, but emotional masochists have a hard time being okay. The feeling doesn't last long because they will look for ways or reasons to feel bad again.
Holding grudges will only make make yourself feel bad, but the pain and negativity is something emotional masochists are fueled by.
You can't conceive that people actually achieve things by their own merit. Because emotional masochists don't believe good things happen to them, they don't believe it can happen to others either. And when good things do happen to others, they blame luck.
Your partner becomes an easy target if you're an emotional masochist. Fighting will quickly bring up emotions such as anger, which is something familiar to this kind of person.
Not everything that goes wrong in our lives is our fault. Emotional masochists, however, can't help but blame themselves first and foremost.
The glass is always half empty. You always spot something wrong in a seemingly perfect scenario. Emotional masochists always focus on the downsides.
We all need some sort of external validation, but seeking it from people we know are unable to give it to us is not a good habit. Even so, emotional masochists ignore this and keep seeking approval from the same people, over and over again.
Complaining can be tiring, for you and for those around you. It's not that you shouldn't express a genuine concern, but doing so excessively is draining and indeed charged with negativity.
Your mind is in a loop of negative self-talk. This is usually a sign of poor self-esteem, which makes you the center of all your negative thoughts.
If you constantly hang out with miserable people who have a negative view of life, all you can get from them is negativity. They can also suck all the good energy out of you. If this tends to be you, it's likely you're an emotional masochist who thrives on this dynamic.
Do you always chase those who reject you? Well, going after someone who doesn't return our love is nothing short of a disaster waiting to happen.
Emotional masochists tend to stay in unhealthy relationships, even in the presence of visible dysfunctionality and abuse.
You lack strong boundaries and let people walk all over you, especially if you think they will like you as a result. Being a people-pleaser, you are often disrespected by others and do nothing about it.
You may know the term "masochist," which refers to someone who finds pleasure in their own pain.
Emotional masochists are individuals who are at ease when they are miserable, engaging in negative behaviors intentionally. Those with a self-destructive personality not only lead emotionally painful lives themselves but also have a detrimental effect on those around them. Take a look at the gallery linked below to familiarize yourself with the signs of an emotional masochist and learn to identify them.
Signs you might be an emotional masochist
Here are the signs you're too attached to your pain
LIFESTYLE Psychology
You may know the term "masochist," which refers to someone who finds pleasure in their own pain.
Emotional masochists are individuals who are at ease when they are miserable, engaging in negative behaviors intentionally. Those with a self-destructive personality not only lead emotionally painful lives themselves but also have a detrimental effect on those around them. Take a look at the gallery linked below to familiarize yourself with the signs of an emotional masochist and learn to identify them.