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Social promiscuity -

Did you know that social promiscuity—making more and more friends and social contacts—is rampant among men and women in their early twenties. Why is this so?

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Forming social circles -

People start building relationships with one another in their teens. Soon, a social circle is formed, and the bigger the circle, the better.

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The "social brain" -

The "social brain"—the intricate network of areas in the brain that activate in social interactions—matures rapidly during adolescence.

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Finding a connection -

Suddenly the more friends you have, the more popular you are, it seems. Socialization is all about self-expression, finding out who you are and what you want. Connecting with lost of people builds confidence and promotes emotional self-awareness.

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The growing-up process -

Adolescence affords you the opportunity to experiment socially. It's all part of the growing-up process. Connecting with others of similar age but of different race and from different backgrounds helps you deal with all sorts of people later in life.

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Reaching 25 -

And you know what? There's no time to lose. Because when you hit 25, life's responsibilities start to kick in. Slowly the wide circle of friends you used to have begins to shrink. So, what's happening?

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Higher education -

Higher education has something to do with it. One of the main reasons friends lose contact is by starting college or university, especially if they end up at opposite ends of the country. Of course, new friends are waiting to be made. But priorities are beginning to change. The urge to do well in school and thoughts of the future can mean choosing a more select group of companions who share the same goals and interests.

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Work commitments -

And even if you gather up a good band of buddies at school, most students end up in part-time employment to help pay for their studies. That's less time to party and socialize.

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Job responsibilities -

Job responsibilities can gnaw away at a once wide circle of friends. Having to earn a living can really cramp a person's style, perhaps because long hours start eating into free time. Or maybe you work alone. More likely you're just plain exhausted when you get home!

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Dating -

And then there's dating. Friends, even the best of them, tend to take a back seat when you meet someone special. Instead, you only have eyes for them. And if they are the right one, wedding bells may not be far away.

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Ever decreasing circles -

You see what's beginning to happen. You're starting to move in ever-decreasing circles. And that's official! Soon after your mid-twenties, your social circle shrinks.

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Analyzing the social structure -

Scientists at Aalto University in Finland and the University of Oxford in England analyzed a large mobile phone dataset to explore the way life history influences human sociality and the way social networks are structured.

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Identifying social patterns -

The habits of three million mobile phone users were studied. By doing so, the scientists were able to identify the frequency and patterns of whom they contacted and when, as well as overall activity within their networks. The results make for interesting reading.

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Up to a point -

Men and women make more friends and cement more social contacts until the age of 25, after which point they start losing them rapidly.

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Losing contact -

Surprisingly perhaps, results indicated that women lose their friends at a faster rate than men, at least initially: a 25-year-old woman contacts about 17.5 people per month, while a man contacts 19 people. It should be noted that social media contact, including Facebook friends, didn't count in the study.

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Decline -

And the number of friends disappearing by the wayside declines steadily until it plateaus at retirement age.

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The difference -

The disparity between the figures can be misleading, however. While the results suggest that men manage to hang onto their mates longer, it would seem that women begin to nurture relationships that are more meaningful to them—such as with a potential life partner or a best friend.

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Decision time! -

Overall, the theory is that around their mid-twenties people begin to decide who is most important—and valuable—in their life.

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Family life -

By their mid-twenties, women tend to experience a fundamental shift in their priorities, focusing resources selectively on career, family, or both. A prime mover in this case is the counting down of the biological clock.

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Extended family life -

Friendships tend to align themselves with these new priorities: new family contacts develop, but the casual circle shrinks. Essentially, friendships become more about quality over quantity.

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Late thirties -

According to the study, men start to see their social circle shrink further in their late thirties, losing their buddies at a faster rate than women.

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Middle-age reversal -

At around 39 years old, men are calling an average of 12 people per month, while women contact an average of 15.

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Keeping it in the family -

Researchers suggest that in middle age, women invest more in those around them who can help raise or look after their children—sisters and mothers-in-law, for example—or other close and trusted friends. This is known as the "grandmother effect."

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Different priorities -

Men, on the other hand, are traditionally seen as cultivating their career and work relationships as first priorities, especially so if they are the family bread winner.

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That shrinking feeling -

Interestingly, a more recent study published by the Survey Center on American Life suggests that men's social circles are shrinking more rapidly than ever.

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Fewer close relationships -

The 2021 American Perspectives Survey finds that Americans report having fewer close friendships than they once did. But these changes have not affected Americans equally.

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Men suffering more -

Men appear to have suffered a far steeper decline than women, their social circles contracting exponentially.

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No close friendship -

The survey highlights that 30 years ago a majority of men (55%) reported having at least six close friends. Today, that number has been cut in half. Alarmingly, 15% of men have no close friendships at all, a fivefold increase since 1990.

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Loneliness and isolation -

The report adds that the size of social circles appear to matter a great deal, and that for Americans with three or fewer close friends, loneliness and isolation are fairly common experiences.

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Maintain a face-to-face friendship -

In essence, a social circle serves as a support network. Having a large circle of friends can have a positive impact on mental and physical well-being, and can set you on course for a happy and successful life. And hey: the value of face-to-face friendship remains paramount.

Sources: (health enews) (FamilyEducation) (Royal Society Open Science) (Survey Center on American Life)

See also: Learn to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship

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