Investigating the calm inside a hurricane
Non-love encapsulates a lack of connection, without any of the components of love existing. This category is also defined by feelings of indifference towards any form of relationship.
The liking category seen at the top of the triangle is an intimate relationship without any passion or commitment. An example of this could be an acquaintance at work.
Similar to most other categories of love, empty love is not a permanent state. An arranged marriage often works out for couples as they begin to feel intimate in time, thus allowing the love to be categorized as companionate.
The love that we share with family members would ideally be companionate love. Family members can feel intimate enough to tell each other anything, and have a powerful sense of commitment and loyalty. This type of love can also be experienced in a platonic friendship.
Fatuous love is when there is passion and commitment, but no intimacy. When a couple meets, feel tremendously passionate from the offset, and get married within two weeks, they will likely find themselves facing the challenges that fatuous love presents.
However, this type of love is tough to achieve and challenging to maintain. Robert Sternberg concludes that to achieve and maintain this form of love, actions are more important than words.
Since this form of love alone lacks intimacy, it doesn’t last long. It is present at the beginning of romantic relationships but tends to disappear fast and suddenly if the other components don’t develop.
Romantic love, according to the triangular theory of love, has passion and intimacy without commitment. This type of love could be experienced with a one-night stand or an intense and short romantic affair.
Sternberg says that intimacy diminishes as relationships become more predictable. This may be the reason why couples can regain intimacy by trying new things together or taking trips to new places.
Empty love can be considered 'cold love,' as it can be experienced without passion or intimacy. Committed love is understood to grow in intensity as time goes on.
Being emotionally connected is paramount in regaining passion in a relationship. Checking in emotionally, being patient, and communicating will all aid in emotional connection.
These categorizations of the love we experience are not a permanent state. Love can move from one type to another. With this in mind, we may turn an eye to our own relationships or consider how we may attempt to be in relationships in the future.
The feelings are brought on by the brain experiencing an increase in specific neurotransmitters, specifically phenylethylamine. Fun fact: this neurotransmitter also increases when we eat chocolate.
Most people in a relationship will likely be experiencing a lack of at least one of the components of passion, intimacy, or commitment. With this in mind, there are plenty of things that can be done to regain any of these components.
As discussed earlier, when things become predictable in a relationship, intimacy decreases. Predictability is necessary for day-to-day life, but trying something new to both partners helps them grow closer together.
Consummate love is, by this model, the ideal form of love for long-term relationships. This is the type of love that people should strive for in the long run. This is the form of love at play when we consider the 'perfect couple.'
Empty love is best understood in the example of arranged marriages. Typically there is no intimacy or passion in this type of marriage initially, and it is grounded only in long-term commitment.
Infatuated love is commonly understood as 'puppy love,' where people feel adoration and almost worshipping affection. Younger people most commonly feel it.
This is not to be mistaken as friendship, which usually involves some level of commitment.
Companionate love is grounded in mutual understanding and care for one another, and it’s imperative for the survival of a relationship. This kind of love takes time, as people need time to learn each other’s needs and wants.
As intimacy can get lost in daily routines, it helps increase intimacy to switch up daily routines in small and simple ways.
If there’s passion lacking in a relationship, one way of battling this is by scheduling sex. Really. It helps couples to consciously make sex a priority.
Relationships are not easy, but they can also be the most rewarding things in our lives. The triangular theory of love presents us with a framework to better understand the forms of relationships we are in, which allows us to identify where they could be going or what we can do to improve them.
Sources: (The British psychological society)(Frontiers Media)(Yale University)
Commitment is not easy for many people. Without committing in dramatic ways like getting married or moving in together, people can take on small projects together or take a class together to increase a sense of commitment in relationships.
The theory can be conveyed visually through the triangle above. The three components of love are at each point.
Passion is almost always based entirely on attraction and sexual desire for one another. This is understood to diminish as other positive forces of the relationship take over.
Typically these feelings are present at the beginning of a relationship and last for about one year.
Consummate love falls in the center of the triangle, and it is seen as the ideal form of love, with passion, intimacy, and commitment all present. This is the kind of love where people feel like they're best friends and lovers at the same time.
The faces of the triangle illustrate the love experienced when the components on either side are at play. For example, intimacy and passion with no commitment will form romantic love.
Another simple way to focus on commitment in relationships is by setting aside time in the day where you put away electronic devices, stop thinking about other things, and really focus on each other.
Have you ever wondered what types of love there are and what makes them different? Well, the triangular theory of love provides a framework to understand the different kinds of love we can feel. Robert Sternberg’s theory infers that love can be categorized into eight different categories, determined by levels of passion, commitment, and intimacy.
If you want to know more about what different kinds of love there are so you can, for example, understand how to take your relationship to the next level, click through this gallery for quite the discovery.
The triangular theory of love
Looking at the psychology of love
LIFESTYLE Relationships
Have you ever wondered what types of love there are and what makes them different? Well, the triangular theory of love provides a framework to understand the different kinds of love we can feel. Robert Sternberg’s theory infers that love can be categorized into eight different categories, determined by levels of passion, commitment, and intimacy.
If you want to know more about what different kinds of love there are so you can, for example, understand how to take your relationship to the next level, click through this gallery for quite the discovery.