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Age-old concept -

The concept of counting our blessings, i.e. taking some time to reflect on the positive things in our lives, has been around for a very long time.

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Different strategies - There are various strategies that hinge on this basic concept, such as the Three Good Things practice, or the Gratitude List. Each comes with slightly different instructions.

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In essence - Essentially, however, each of these strategies involves taking some time every day to reflect on, and write a list of, the things that went well, and why they went well.

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Before the evidence -

The idea that counting our blessings could be positive for our mood and general well-being was around long before it was scientifically proven.

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2005 study - In 2005, however, psychologists Martin Seligman and Chris Peterson published an important study that showed how counting our blessings can actually help improve our mood.

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Details of the study -

The trial involved 577 participants who were all assigned to different groups. The placebo group was asked to spend some time every day writing about their early childhood memories.

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Test groups - The various test groups were then asked to write about topics that the researchers believed may serve as mood boosters if focused on daily.

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The group of interest -

One of those groups was asked to write a list of three things that had gone well for them each day, and what had caused them to go well.

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Measuring the impact -

In order to test the impact of these various exercises on the participants' moods over the next few months, all the volunteers were given a scale to measure their happiness.

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The findings -

In the group that was asked to list three good things, participants began to show improvements in their happiness levels within the first month.

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In the placebo group -

Meanwhile, in the placebo group, participants showed a brief spike in happiness within the first week, but then their mood returned to the baseline level.

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Why it works -

Psychologists believe that counting our blessings can help boost our mood, because it encourages us to counteract the very human tendency that is negativity bias.

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Negativity bias - As human beings, we tend to register and remember the negative things that happen to us much more than we register and remember the positive.

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Important for survival - This is great for our survival. Indeed, if we didn't focus on and learn from the situations that put us in danger, we would have little hope of surviving as a species.

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Feeling overwhelmed -

However, in the modern world, the tendency to focus on the negative can be overwhelming. By counting our blessings, we can help ease that burden.

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Three Good Things -

As previously mentioned, there are various mood-boosting strategies that have counting blessings as their core concept. A good one to try is the Three Good Things practice.

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Getting started -

To get started with Three Good Things, start by making time. Set an intention to practice journaling for a few minutes every day for at least two weeks.

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Grab a pen and paper -

When you're ready for your practice, grab a pen and paper and write down three good things that you noticed during the day, how they made you feel, and why you think they happened.

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Anything counts -

Remember that anything counts, i.e. the events you choose can be as significant or insignificant as you like. Don't worry about grammar or spelling either—just write as it comes.

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Take time to reflect -

And, finally, remember to reflect. After two weeks, take some time to consider whether making a daily list of three good things has had a positive effect on your life.

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Top tips -

In order to get the most out of your Three Good Things practice, there are certain tips to bear in mind. Firstly, remember that the goal is not to stifle negative feelings through toxic positivity.

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A question of empathy -

Rather, the aim with practicing Three Good Things is to acknowledge and care for difficult emotions, by recognizing that there is also good in the world.

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Write your list before bed - Secondly, to maximize the effect of your practice, try writing your list right before going to bed. This may help the positive thoughts stay in your memory for longer.

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Go easy on yourself - Finally, don't be hard on yourself if you find it difficult not to dwell on the negative things that happened on a particular day. Remember, this is a natural human tendency.

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Skipping a day -

Instead, aim to acknowledge those negative experiences and then refocus your mind on the positive experiences. And don't worry if you miss a day—just pick it up again tomorrow.

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Tips for managers -

If you are a manager or team leader, you may like to use this exercise with your team. If so, it is important that you first check the emotional pulse of your team members.

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Acknowledge any difficult emotions first - If your team is struggling, be sure to acknowledge those difficult emotions first and explain your intentions in doing the exercise. Give people the opportunity to skip the exercise if they wish.

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Final thoughts -

Whether practiced in an individual or group context, there is no guarantee that the Three Good Things strategy will have a positive effect. However, given that it is very low cost and at the same time low risk, it may be worth a shot.

Sources: (BBC) (University of Utah)

See also: Phrases used by emotionally intelligent people (plus some misleading ones)

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