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What is emotional intelligence? -

Emotional intelligence, or emotional quotient (EQ), is being able to recognize and identify emotions in yourself and others as well as effectively manage them.

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Things people with a high EQ say -

There are many phrases that someone with a high emotional intelligence would say. In the following slides, you'll find examples and explanations of each.

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"I feel...(happy/disappointed/sad)" -

Being able to label and communicate your feelings, even the uncomfortable ones, is a key characteristic of someone with a high EQ. Using "I" statements is important and shares your views while not assuming someone else's.

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"Please let me know how I did" -

Feedback is something that aims to help us improve every day. However, not everyone wants it or can take it. Some might see it as a failure. A emotionally intelligent person though sees it posivitely. 

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"I understand how you feel" -

Empathy is so important and is the sentiment behind the phrase, "I understand how you feel." It helps validate someone and shows them you're there for them even if you don't share the same experience.

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"I'd feel the same way in your situation" -

Someone with a high EQ would be able to confidently say, "I'd feel the same way in your situation." It shows a true understanding and a willingness to step outside of what you know to be true and empathize with someone else.

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"Let's work together to find a solution" -

Conflict and challenges can evoke big emotions in each of us. So, communicating with someone that you want to come together to find a collective solution speaks highly to your emotional intelligence.

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"How do you feel about it?" -

While a person with a high EQ is often good at reading the room or correctly interpreting other's emotions, they usually ask this question before assuming. This is a key sign of someone who is emotionally intelligent.

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"Thank you and/or I appreciate you" -

Acknowledging the efforts of others is important. Having a high EQ can help you see the good in others, and taking the time to express gratitude can go a long way.

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"I'm proud of you" -

Emotionally intelligent people are generally happy within themselves and thus, happy for others also. They will tell someone, "I'm proud of you" and genuinely mean it.

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"I'm sorry" -

This phrase can be daunting for many. Someone who has a low EQ might avoid apologizing altogether. However, a high EQ enables people to acknowledge when they've done something wrong and own up to it.

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"Let's talk about it later" -

Emotionally intelligent people have enough smarts to know when they should table a conversation before their emotions get the better of them. This isn't avoiding the matter, but simply taking time to process it before a discussion. 

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"I need some time to process my emotions" -

This statement is a way to show self-awareness and communicate it in a specific way to someone else. It lets the other person know the conversation can and will continue, but not now.

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"Did I understand you correctly?" -

This question shows a desire to understand someone else fully. You can even repeat a summary of your understanding before asking, "Did I understand you correctly?"

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"What do you think?" -

Encouraging someone else to participate in a conversation is a sign of a very emotionally intelligent person. They aren't dominating the conversation and care about your input also.

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"I respect your opinion/decision" -

Emotionally intelligent people realize and acknowledge there are other points of view in the world. They value others and their opinions and ideas even if they differ from their own.

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"How can I help you?" -

People who have a high EQ will often offer assistance to others. They are empathetic and selfless because they can see themselves in similar shoes.

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"I love you" -

An emotionally intelligent person is confident enough to tell others that they love them. Whether it's to a friend, partner, family member, or otherwise, highly emotional people let others know how significant they are.

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Misleading phrases -

While emotionally intelligent people say many good things that showcase their skills, some people say things that sound emotionally intelligent, but in reality, aren't. The following slides will capture a few of those sayings.

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“Calm down” -

If you tell someone to "calm down," you are invalidating their feelings and saying essentially that they are overreacting. Trying to calm someone down might come from a good place, but saying it can leave someone feeling taken aback and even defensive.

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“No offense, but…” -

A speaker might think they're being cognizant of another's possible reaction when they preface a sentence with, "No offense, but..." but they're not. Try expressing your thoughts in a more constructive and empathetic way.

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“You’re too sensitive” -

"You're too sensitive" is a harsh thing to say to someone. While your intention might be to discuss emotions, doing so in this manner has the opposite effect and can actually leave someone feeling hurt and closed off.

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“I’m sorry you feel that way” -

Just because you say the word sorry, doesn't mean the phrase is positive or emotionally intelligent. In fact, this phrase can come across in an accusatory way rather than taking blame for your part in a situation.

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“It’s not that big of a deal” -

What can seem insignificant to one person could be important to another so this phrase is not an emotionally intelligent one. Try something that validates their feelings and attempts to build trust.

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“That’s just how I am” -

Though it may seem like this is emotionally intelligent in that you know yourself, it actually is not. This phrase is used more as a shield to avoid taking responsibility for actions and behaviors!

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“I don’t want to argue” -

When someone says "I don't want to argue" they aren't being emotionally mature. They are trying to dodge or get out of a conversation because it isn't convenient or good for them.

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“It could be worse” -

When someone shares struggles, and you say, "It could be worse," you might think that you're helping or trying to empathize with them, but you're not. Someone with a high EQ would instead say something like, "I'm sorry you're experiencing this. How can I support you?"

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“You always…” or “You never…” -

These phrases might sound like they're trying to understand someone, but they can be hurtful. It is overly simplified and doesn't take everything into account.

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“Whatever” -

Saying "whatever" might come off as being indifferent, but it's quite dismissive. Someone with a high EQ might instead say they see there are different perspectives and suggest to table the issue for some time.

Sources: (Global English Editing) (Parade)

See also: The importance of emotional intelligence in the workplace

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