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What is emotional intelligence? -

Emotional intelligence (also called EI or EQ for emotional quotient) is the ability to perceive, interpret, demonstrate, control, evaluate, and use emotions to communicate with and relate to others effectively and constructively.

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Why is it important? -

It's important to know that even though emotions can be powerful, they are also temporary. Emotionally intelligent children can self-regulate their emotions and think before reacting.

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Why is it important? -

Children with a high EQ have more empathy for others. They can listen and understand how someone else is feeling and consider how they might respond in a similar situation.

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Benefits: high EQ is linked to high IQ -

Kids who are more emotionally intelligent also have higher intellectual skills. Studies show that children with a high EQ often perform better on standardized tests and have higher grades in general.

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Benefits: better relationships -

A child with a high EQ can better manage conflict and develop deeper friendships. They are more aware of their feelings, and the feelings of others, and are able to connect better overall.

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Benefits: childhood EQ is linked to higher success during adulthood -

The American Journal of Public Health found in a 19-year study that a child's social and emotional skills in kindergarten may predict lifelong success. Children who, at age five, could follow directions, share, and cooperate were more likely to get a university degree and start working professionally by age 25.

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Benefits: improved mental health -

Depression and mental illnesses can and often do, affect people of all ages and backgrounds. However, it's been shown that those with higher EQ levels are less likely to experience them.

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Tips to raise an emotionally intelligent child -

As a parent, it is your job to teach your children the skills they need to be successful in life. One of the most important skills they'll need is emotional intelligence. The following slides will list and discuss tips on how to raise an emotionally intelligent child.

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Help them develop self-awareness -

Self-awareness is step one in developing emotional intelligence. It means that you can recognize your feelings and be cognizant of how those feelings affect you, your judgment, and your behavior.

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Help them develop self-awareness -

Provide a safe and supportive space for your child while they develop their self-awareness and encourage them to talk about their feelings and take time to reflect afterward.

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Label your child’s emotions -

Children need verbiage to be able to recognize and describe how they're feeling. As the parent, you can help by putting a name to the emotion they're having or that you suspect they're experiencing.

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Label your child’s emotions -

When labeling your child's emotions, you can say things like, "It looks like you might be feeling really angry right now. Is that right?" Use emotional words like angry, upset, shy, painful, and others to help the kids build an emotional vocabulary.

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Listen and show empathy -

If your child is experiencing big feelings, be sure to take time to listen and never minimize how they are feeling. Instead, validate their feelings and show empathy, even if you're unsure what the feeling is or why it's happening.

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Listen and show empathy -

Empathizing with your child will show them over time that you understand how they are feeling, and they will be less likely to act out with bad behavior. You can say things like: "I also feel sad when I can't do things I want, but..." and calmly explain the rationale. This shows the child you hear them and understand their pain.

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Model appropriate ways to express feelings -

Kids need to know how to express emotions in a way that aligns with appropriate societal norms. The best way for them to learn how to do this is by observing you doing it first. Show them that when you're upset or have hurt feelings you calmly vocalize it or do something like draw a sad face instead of screaming or shouting.

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Model appropriate ways to express feelings -

Try to use feeling words in everyday conversations and practice using them! Even simple statements like, "I feel sad when I see kids being mean on the playground," will teach your child how to be emotionally intelligent. The more they practice, the better they'll become.

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Teach healthy coping skills -

Once children better understand the emotions they're experiencing, they need to then know how to deal with them. Big emotions like happiness when sad, fear, or anger can be tough for kids to master.

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Teach healthy coping skills -

Teach your kids coping skills, such as taking a few deep breaths when they're angry to calm down or consider helping your child create a little kit to help regulate their emotions. Things like a favorite book, scent, or soothing music can be included. When they're upset, remind them to take a moment for the calm-down kit.

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Develop problem-solving skills -

A component of emotional intelligence is problem-solving. Once your child has labeled and addressed the issue at hand, it's time to work out some ideas on how to fix the problem. Help your child identify a few ways they might solve the problem even if all of them aren't 'good' ideas, focus on brainstorming.

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Develop problem-solving skills -

Once you and your child have found about five possible solutions. Teach them how to assess the pros and cons of each. Then have them select the solution they feel is the best option. Aim to act as a coach to your child versus you solving the actual problem.

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Make emotional intelligence an ongoing goal -

Your child can be extremely gifted with their emotional intelligence and it's still important to practice and discuss regularly, especially when they're young. Making space for discussions about how things might have been solved in a different or better way, teaches kids there's always room for improvement.

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Make emotional intelligence an ongoing goal -

As your child grows older be sure to make space for talking about real-life situations including things in their life as well as problems you've seen in the news. If your child acts out, regardless of age, take time to use it as an opportunity to help them learn so they react and respond better next time.

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Encourage self-expression -

Expressing themselves will help children cope with and manage their emotions and even develop empathy for others. As a parent, you can use creative activities such as art or music to help children put their feelings into words.

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Encourage self-expression -

Encourage self-expression in your children. This is an excellent way to help them feel safe sharing their feelings an thoughts so that they can better understand themselves and their emotions.

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Examples: bosiness -

At one point or another, your child will act bossy. The low-EQ response it to let them know they're doing something wrong. However, this likely won't work. Instead, you must let them make their own mistakes and learn from them. If you want to go a step further you can share with them how you might feel if you were in the situation.

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Temper tantrums -

When a child throws a temper tantrum, you should ignore them. This high-EQ response signals to children that you won't be manipulated by them and their big emotions. Children will soon learn that their tantrums don't result how they are hoping, and will eventually decrease in frequency.

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Greed -

When a child is greedy it's important to not blame them or tell them things like greed are sinful or shameful as it will lead to them feeling ashamed. Instead, try to talk with the child about the needs they're experiencing and how they might be met more effectively.

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Staring -

Often parents will try chastize their children for staring. Try to be more understanding and say to your child that you understand the curiosity and ask if they can imagine being in that person's shoes and what they might do. Using empathy is once again the answer to help your child grow their emotional intelligence.

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Are there times when certain kids will have more difficulty learning emotional intelligence? -

Yes, children with ADHD, for example, might have a harder time as they can miss social cues when they're not paying close enough attention. Additionally, kids with auditory processing disorders might misinterpret what someone else is saying to them.

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Where can I find tools to help build emotional intelligence in my child? -

Many websites offer activities, exercises, and PDFs to help you and your child learn more.
Sources: (HelpGuide.org) (Verywell family) (Verywell mind)
See also: Expanding horizons: how travel changes the lives of children

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