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A Korean secret -

Nunchi is a concept in Korea, similar to what is considered "reading the room." It means having a sense of situational awareness.

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Sensitivity -

Nunchi involves being sensitive to the dynamics within a group, being able to pick up on what people are thinking and feeling.

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Early cultivation -

In Korea, Nunchi is cultivated from a young age. Children learn the world before they even begin school, usually around age three.

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Early cultivation -

Having nunchi means being plugged into what's going on with the entire group. It's not about being "good" or "bad" with it, it's about how quickly you recognize group dynamics.

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Negative association -

Children tend to learn about nunchi in the negative though. For example, if everyone is standing in one way while another person is doing something else, an authority figure might ask why they don't have any nunchi.

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Eye measure -

The word nunchi itself translates roughly to "eye measure." It's less a sizing up of an individual, and more about the overall context and atmosphere of a situation.

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Many situations -

Every social setting, from a wedding to a job interview, work meeting, or a catchup with friends, requires the art of nunchi.

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Observation -

By silently observing what's going, Korean culture uses nunchi to gauge the moods of everyone in the room.

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Observation -

In a given situation, nunchi means taking notice of who's speaking, who is apologizing, who is interrupting, who listens, and who was bored already 10 minutes ago.

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Hierarchies -

From close observation, you can assess the nature of the group's relationships with one another, what the hierarchy is, and the overall mood: and adjust your behavior accordingly.

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In flux -

In some situations, these variables are in fast flux. It takes someone with quick nunchi to stay on top of the subtleties of group dynamics.

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Success -

People who take their time to read the room have a better chance at social success than those who don't. They're more likely to fit in and make connections.

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Faux pas -

They are a lot less likely to come across as clueless or incompetent, or of committing an awkward faux pas they can't undo!

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Happier -

At its most basic, having quick nunchi will make people happier to be around you. On another level, carefully listening and gathering information before speaking allows you to be more strategic in your approach to social encounters.

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Discretion -

Nunchi is based on discretion. It's a soft skill, which are typically more sought after, as they're more difficult to cultivate.

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Introverts -

But it's a big plus for introverts, who can use their sensitivity as a superpower when assessing the nunchi of a given situation.

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Korea's development -

Perhaps nunchi has helped Korea become a high-income, culturally powerful nation? This shift in the nation's standing, from being one of the world's poorest nations, transpired just a few generations ago.

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Western individualism -

In the West, individualism and autonomy are celebrated and emphasized. In contrast, nunchi is focused on collectivism, harmony, and relationship.

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Taking the temperature -

Each room has its own "temperature" and in order to read it, you need to know the rules. Koreans refer to boonwigi, the room's atmosphere or wellness level, something everyone contributes to just by being present in the room.

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Boonwigi -

If you act with no nunchi, you kill the boonwigi for everyone in the room. In contrast, if you have fast nunchi, it will benefit everyone in the room.

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Engaging your senses -

To have good nunchi, you need to be present in the room with all five senses. That's really it, the presence itself has a grounding and harmonizing effect. But there are a few more rules that can also help.

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Empty your mind -

Nunchi means approaching a room with an open mind. Prejudices prevent us from learning anything new about people, blocking out data you could learn about others.

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Observer effect -

You change a room when you enter it, so be aware of your influence. Without uttering a word, your presence is felt, so you don't need to try to make things awkward with an ill-timed joke. Observe instead.

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Watch the room -

When you enter, watch the room. If everyone's engaging in an activity, don't break it up. This is the time to glean information about the atmosphere, and to look out for subtleties.

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Never pass on an opportunity to be quiet -

A lot of questions you could ask will be answered if you listen long enough. This enables you to learn as much as possible, while keeping your cards close to your chest.

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Manners exist for a reason -

Manners serve a purpose; they make people feel comfortable. Don't forget yours when you're spending time with a group of people.

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Read between the lines -

The initial greeting between you and another person matters a lot. You should start paying attention to context and what's not being said, before you even say hello.

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Intention and impact are two different things -

Even if it's not your intention to cause harm, impact is what people remember. You need to get outside your head to make the people around you more comfortable.

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Be nimble -

The room you enter is different from the room 10 minutes later. Nunchi is always evolving, so stay adaptable and keep paying attention.

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A means of survival -

Nunchi is something that can help you survive and adapt in the world. While a gaffe can be funny in hindsight, you could miss out on opportunities where the stakes are more serious.

Sources: (MindBodyGreen) (The Guardian) (The New York Times)

See also: Teaching kids good manners: politeness in everyday life

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