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"I did that because I was trying to help you." -

This is a manipulative way to make a person feel guilty for getting angry about a certain action or set of words. The other person begins to self-doubt and to question their own interpretation.

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"You're too sensitive." -

When you try to express yourself to a gaslighter, they'll diminish your feelings, leaving you to feel like you have no value.

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"That's not what happened." -

A gaslighter will change the version of a story to whatever they want it to be. Then, they'll persuade you that you're the wrong one or that you have a faulty memory.

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"You're being paranoid." -

Instead of a gaslighter owning up to something they're suspected of doing, they'll make you think that you're just being paranoid.

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"That is hardly important." -

Gaslighters will try to trivialize your concerns or suggestions, which is another way to devalue a person.

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"You're crazy." -

A very narcissistic statement, it will make you question yourself. This could lead to low self-confidence and anxiety.

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"This is your own fault." -

Gaslighters are great at twisting the blame to cause doubt and confusion. Understand that this is toxic behavior.

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"This is why you don't have friends." -

One of the tactics of a gaslighter is to isolate their target or make them feel devalued. This phrase does just that.

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"That's not what I meant." -

If you confront a gaslighter about something hurtful they said, they'll deny it was even said or change their meaning. This causes a lot of self-doubt.

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"It was just a joke!" -

Calling something a joke is a way to passively put another person down. It even questions your ability to discern truth from fiction.

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"It's not that big of a deal." -

Another way to downplay your feelings is to state that the situation isn't that big of a deal.

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"You're overthinking it." -

This phrase is meant to belittle what you have to say. It also makes you think that you're assuming too much and that the facts aren't true.

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"You're making that up." -

This phrase basically means that you're being accused of lying. Any of your words will be used against you and could even cause shame.

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"I don't know what you want me to say." -

This is a way for the gaslighter to make you feel like you won't accept anything they say, so it's your problem.

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"How dare you accuse me of that!" -

This is a harsher way of saying you're paranoid. It turns the accusation back on you, which could lead to shame and even with you apologizing.

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"You're overreacting." -

Just like being accused of overthinking, your reactions will also be called into question.

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"You always blow things out of proportion." -

Anytime "always" is used in a statement, it's an exaggeration.

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"Everyone agrees with me." -

The gaslighter wants you to believe you must be wrong, as everyone else agrees with them.

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"Don't worry about it right now." -

This phrase is meant to put off a conversation and not give you the time to express yourself.

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"I can't have any negative emotions around you." -

A gaslighting phrase like this is to make you feel like you're the one who is being insensitive.

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"You're not perfect, either." -

As if you expect them to be perfect. This is a way to deflect the behavior back on you.

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"Why are you always bringing up the past?" -

Since a gaslighter likes to reinvent the past, they will feel threatened if you bring up the truth about the past.

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"You have no clue." -

This statement is an effort by the gaslighter to shut down the conversation, especially if they're feeling threatened.

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"Who are they going to believe?" -

A phrase that makes you doubt yourself, the gaslighter believes they're superior and without error.

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"Let's forgive and forget." -

This phrase shuts down the conversation and makes you feel guilty if you can't forgive and forget. It's also making the assumption that you need forgiveness, too.

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"We already talked about this, don't you remember?" -

This is a tactic used to make you question your own memory. In the gaslighter's version of the past, they'll try to make you believe what they want.

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"This is how you treat me after everything I've done for you?" -

This is another phrase to deflect their bad behavior back onto you. Plus, it makes it sound like they're the victim.

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"You always have to be right." -

How ironic that the gaslighter who, in fact, always needs to be right, would accuse you of the same thing.

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"I think you need counseling." -

This is a way to invalidate your thoughts and feelings. Basically, the gaslighter tries to make it sound like your feelings aren't normal.

Sources:  (Parade) (Good Housekeeping)

See also: Practical ways to build trusting relationships

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