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Respecting healthy emotional and physical boundaries -

In a healthy family, every family member, including children, has privacy. This is understood and respected by everyone.

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Respecting healthy emotional and physical boundaries -

In healthy families, parents do most of the emotional work with their children by modeling empathy, self-control, and appropriate behaviors in response to emotions. The role of children is to learn.

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Seeing each family member as an individual with an opinion -

Even if adults make the final decision, everyone is allowed to have an opinion. And all family members should respect and allow those opinions to be expressed, as long as they're respectful.

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Seeing each family member as an individual with an opinion -

In families where there is little room for differing opinions, it's common for children to grow into adults who don't know who they are. When you're always taught how and what to think, it's normal to not know how to do it for yourself.

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Setting consistent, fair, and age-appropriate rules and expectations -

All families have rules, but rules that are inconsistent or not age-appropriate create an environment of confusion and chaos.

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Setting consistent, fair, and age-appropriate rules and expectations -

Children are still growing and learning, so a caregiver’s expectations of them shouldn't be the same as their expectations of adults.

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Meeting each person’s needs appropriately -

All members are concerned with the health and well-being of others, but in an age-appropriate way.

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Meeting each person’s needs appropriately -

Parents provide emotional care for the children, not the other way round. Also, other members seek to meet their other family members' needs.

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All members of the family feel safe and secure -

Children and other family members in a healthy family feel safe learning, growing, and making mistakes.

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All members of the family feel safe and secure -

They have a healthy understanding of mistakes and understand that it won't challenge or threaten their security or safety. They know that love is unconditional.

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Expecting mistakes and forgiving them in a healthy way -

Family members understand that we're all humans, constantly learning and growing. Conflict is handled in an appropriate and safe manner.

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Expecting mistakes and forgiving them in a healthy way -

Healthy families explore mistakes to understand and improve, instead of shaming their family members over those mistakes.

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Expressing encouragement and affection -

Healthy families happily express gratitude for one another and share words of encouragement during difficult times.

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Expressing encouragement and affection -

They serve as cheerleaders instead of competing with one another for the spotlight. These families also show physical affection by sharing hugs or handshakes, and expressing their genuine love.

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There are traditions, rituals, and shared stories -

Healthy families have traditions around holidays, birthdays, and milestones, as well as shared stories.

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There are traditions, rituals, and shared stories -

These traditions anchor the family to one another, and strengthen their bond. Traditions also provide each member with a purpose in the family.

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Sharing a sense of humor -

Healthy families laugh together and take delight in one another by not taking things too seriously.

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Sharing a sense of humor -

It's a shared sense of humor, joy, and lightness that helps families bounce back from difficult times.

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Spending quality time together -

Quality time is spent physically, emotionally, and mentally connected with your family. Healthy families are intentional about giving each other their undivided attention.

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Spending quality time together -

Whether baking cookies, playing games, or sharing a meal, healthy families enjoy one another’s company.

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Experiencing emotional intimacy -

Just like quality time, healthy communication seems simple, but it's important for proper family function.

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Experiencing emotional intimacy -

Members of healthy families communicate in a calm, respectful manner, in which they're safe to share differing feelings and experiences.

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Managing crisis and conflict in a timely manner -

Healthy families see conflict and disagreement as inevitable parts of living together. These difficult moments are dealt with in a calm, respectful way, allowing space for each person to both talk and listen.

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Managing crisis and conflict in a timely manner -

When disagreements arise, they are called out and handled within a timely matter, rather than allowing tension and anger to escalate.

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There's a commitment to family -

In healthy families, individuals understand the health of the family as a whole is dependent on the health of each family member.

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There's a commitment to family -

Members of these families fulfill promises, defend each other, and honor one another’s role in the family.

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They prefer to stay together -

One of the major characteristics of a healthy family is that they want to be together. And they also enjoy one another.

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They prefer to stay together -

When children grow up, they don't cut ties with their parents and grandparents. Instead, they still want to have them in their lives.

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Reflection -

Take a moment to reflect on your family history and if you can relate to these healthy characteristics. Often, people who experienced family trauma won't have these experiences. And do note that all the mentioned points don't have to exist together for a family to be healthy.

Sources: (Psychology Today) (Medium) 

See also: Unlock your inner calm: quick and easy self-soothing techniques

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