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What are emotional needs? -

Like physiological needs, emotional needs must be met in order for us to feel fulfilled, at peace, and indeed happy.

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Men’s emotional needs -

Many times men’s emotional needs are not met by their partners. And many times this is not the partner's fault either. Many partners simply assume their emotional needs are similar to those of their partners and act accordingly. Except, they're not.

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Emotional connection really matters for men -

Contrary to popular belief, many men actually cheat because they feel their emotional needs are not met in their relationships. According to research conducted by sociology professor Dr. Alicia M. Walker, "Where a lack of physical satisfaction at home motivates women to seek out affairs, men crave the emotional connection and support their spouse neglects to provide."

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Emotional connection really matters for men -

“While these men report a fondness and deep love for their spouse, they also report a very low or nonexistent amount of validation, and an inadequate amount of attention and praise from her,” Dr. Walker adds. Now, let’s take a look at some of men’s emotional needs in a relationship.

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Respect -

Everyone needs and wants to feel respected, but this is a big deal for men. Respect is associated with a high level of competence and appreciation, which many men strive for.

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Respect -

Men want to feel somewhat admired by their partners, and like to feel that they respect their worth as a man. Men who feel respected are more likely to be confident and have higher self-esteem.

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Acceptance -

Being accepted for who they are and what they are is very important for men. It’s recognition that they are enough, and that they don’t need to become someone else. Men want to feel like they are accepted and therefore belong in that relationship.

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Acceptance -

Accepting a man means including that man in every aspect of your life. A man likes to feel that you are happy to introduce him to everyone (including your family) and that you value his input in making important decisions, because he is truly accepted.

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Trust -

If a man doesn’t trust his partner or doesn’t feel like his partner trusts him, then that’s bad news for the relationship. Trust really is important and one of the key things that make him feel safe in a relationship.

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Trust -

If there is no trust, a man will not be vulnerable around his partner, nor will he share his deepest thoughts. Trust takes time to build, but it can quickly vanish.

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Affection -

Affection, in its many forms, is very important for men in an intimate relationship. Physical touch in particular plays a big role in a man expressing love and feeling it in return. Have you ever wondered why men high five and hug each other in celebration? Touch is indeed a strong indication of connection, and in a romantic relationship it’s no different.

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Affection -

“One mistake I often see women make is assuming that men should feel connected and romanced in the same way that they do: through conversation, time together, gift giving, etc. (Leading women to feel frustrated or rejected when they try to show love in the way they think their partner 'should' experience it, and it’s not received well),” says psychologist and marriage and family therapist Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby.

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Affirmation -

In addition to physical affection, words of affirmation can also go a long way. Men value them and it makes them feel loved for who and what they are.

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Intimate fulfillment -

Intimacy fulfillment is a big deal for men, and a priority when developing attraction. When a man does not feel fulfilled phisically, the emotional connection weakens.

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Physical desire -

Physical attraction is key in a relationship and men need to feel like they are desired by their partners. “Men also feel loved and connected through intimacy, often to a greater degree than women do. Whereas women often need to feel emotionally connected as a prelude to intimacy, men often need to feel physically connected before they can connect emotionally,” explains Dr. Bobby.

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Physical desire -

Failure to do so may trigger feelings of rejection, loneliness, and abandonment. This then often translates into insecurity and emotional withdrawal.

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Honesty -

A man values honesty in a relationship, and indeed it's something that makes him feel secure. If a man feels his partner hasn’t been honest with him, this deeply affects his trust and emotional connection.

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Family commitment -

Family commitment includes, but is not limited to, actively participating in children’s lives, from teaching them things to playing with them. Other family members also play a crucial part in a man’s identity and concept of family.

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Security -

Men need to feel they’re the one and only in their partner's lives. They need to feel secure that their partners are not going anywhere if they make a mistake, and that the relationship is a safety net. Indeed, men need to feel their partners will be there for them.

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Prioritization -

Men want to feel they are a priority in their partner's life—that they matter. If they don’t feel this, doubts about whether their presence is actually appreciated, or even needed, may begin to arise.

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Support -

Men need to feel supported both in and out of the relationship. They want to feel like you understand and respect their job and their hobbies, because these are a great part of who they are.

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How to connect with a man on an emotional level -

According to Dr. Bobby, “Oftentimes men experience love through physical affection, quality time together, and words of affirmation.” Here are some ways you can meet the emotional needs of the man in your life.

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Compliment him -

Some positive words can really hit the spot in a man’s heart. As Dr. Bobby puts it, “Smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection.”

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Touch him -

Expressing intimacy through physical touch is a sure way to make the man in your life feel loved. Touch him, hug him, kiss him. It really makes a difference in how a man emotionally connects.

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Show interest in his hobbies and the things he likes -

This not only shows you care, but also shows you are supportive of the things he likes to do. This really matters to men, and it can strengthen the bond between you two.

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Be thoughtful -

Sometimes it’s just about the little things. The coffee you bring him or that ticket for a show you know he wants to attend. A few thoughtful acts of kindness can make a man feel truly loved.

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Listen to him -

Some men might not communicate as openly or as clearly as some women would like to, but they express their feelings, emotions, and worries nonetheless. This means being open to the way he communicates, even if it’s not the same as yours, and trying to understand the main points. Listen to him as you’d like to be listened to.

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Flirt with him -

Flirting may help keep the spark alive. Surprise him with flirty texts out of the blue. Make eye contact, make him laugh. Both of you will benefit from it.

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Reveal yourself to him -

Your man wants to know all about you. He wants to feel like he has the privilege to be the one who you confess everything to. As an added benefit, this increases trust and emotional connection.

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Love is all he (and you) needs -

Don’t assume the emotional needs of your partner are the same as yours. Different people have different ways of interpreting, showing, and feeling love. Men, in particular, place a great deal of importance on feeling accepted, respected, valued, and desired. When in doubt, ask him.

Sources: (Growing Self) (Marie Claire) (Innovative Men's Health) (Today) (Marriage.com) (American Psychological Association) (The Healthy Marriage)

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