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Think about everyone's perspective -

Before attempting to mediate a family argument, take some time to think about everyone’s perspective. Try to look at all sides of the argument, without taking sides.

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Think about everyone's perspective -

You will need to resist the urge to judge here, which can be difficult. Try to imagine how you might feel to hear about the family conflict as an outsider.

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Think about everyone's perspective -

It is also worth looking at your actions and asking yourself whether there is anything you did that might have escalated the situation.

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Think about how the conflict affects others -

Mediating a family conflict can be difficult and emotionally draining. Reminding yourself of how the conflict affects other family members can help you keep the strength you need.

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Think about how the conflict affects others -

Conflict between two family members often affects everyone in the family, and in certain situations some family members might be caught in the middle.

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Think about how the conflict affects others -

Try to remind those family members who are feuding that their actions affect those around them. It may be just the motivation they need to make amends.

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Ask everyone how they're feeling -

As a mediator, it is important that you have a nuanced understanding of the matter at hand. Before getting everyone together, make sure to sit down with each family member individually.

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Ask everyone how they're feeling -

The best way to understand how someone feels is to ask and use active listening techniques to make sure they feel heard and understood.

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Look for the underlying issue -

When it comes to family arguments, they are rarely about the surface level issue. Almost always, there is an underlying issue at hand.

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Look for the underlying issue -

If one family member reacts in a very negative way to something that seems rather trivial, it is likely there is some kind of old feud or resentment there.

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Look for the underlying issue -

Take a look at your family’s history to identify old, underlying issues. This can help you mediate new arguments more effectively.

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Establish ground rules -

When it comes to getting everyone together for the discussion, be sure to establish some ground rules. Try to involve everyone in establishing the rules so you don’t seem condescending.

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Establish ground rules -

For example, a good general rule is that only one person can speak at a time. This helps the conversation run smoothly and allows everyone the chance to express themselves.

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Establish ground rules -

You might also like to include some rules about managing emotion. For example, no one should be allowed to raise their voice, no matter how angry they get.

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Paraphrase people's thoughts -

When mediating any argument, it is important to make sure that all parties feel like they are being heard. Paraphrasing is a simple way to ensure that.

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Paraphrase people's thoughts -

When a person is done talking, paraphrase their words briefly and allow them the chance to correct you in the event that you have misinterpreted something.

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Make sure everyone has a chance to express themselves -

It is very important that you do not end the conversation until everyone has had the chance to express their thoughts and feelings.

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Make sure everyone has a chance to express themselves -

A simple way to ensure everyone has expressed themselves is to go round the room once and give everyone the chance to speak. Then go around the room again and let everyone respond.

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Make sure everyone has a chance to express themselves -

Before ending the discussion, ask whether anyone has anything else they would like to share. You should never end a negotiation before everyone has vented their frustrations.

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Work on healing the relationships -

Although not every mediation will end with a concrete plan for how to resolve the dispute, everyone should leave with some idea as to how they can help heal the relationship.

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Work on healing the relationships -

Try to offer suggestions as to how family members can treat each other better in the future. Think about what was said during the mediation, and reflect on where change is needed.

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Work on healing the relationships -

It is also a good idea to agree to work actively on letting go of the argument. For example, you might agree not to bring it up over the next six months.

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Strive for forgiveness -

Although forgiveness is the ultimate goal when it comes to mediating family disputes, you should remember that you cannot force a person to feel a particular way.

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Strive for forgiveness -

You can, however, encourage family members to forgive one another, and you can definitely lead by example.

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Strive for forgiveness -

Start by forgiving your feuding family members yourself. Although you may not have been directly involved, the argument likely affected you in some way.

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Keep your expectations realistic -

Family arguments are often tricky to resolve, particularly if they are ongoing. Do not be disappointed if you are not able to fix the issue overnight.

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Keep your expectations realistic -

Try to accept the fact that things may continue to be strained for a while, especially if the family members involved are particularly difficult or stubborn.

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Keep your expectations realistic -

Bear in mind, too, that it may take several conversations before an argument can be resolved. There is nothing wrong with taking a break and revisiting an issue down the line.

Sources: (WikiHow)

See also: Films about family gatherings

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