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Long-distance parenting effects on a child -

Many long-distance parents feel guilty and concerned about how their absence will affect their child. But research has shown that long distance itself has no significant effect on a child’s behavior or education.

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It's not about distance -

In fact, the parent’s physical absence doesn’t harm a child as much as infrequent communication. It doesn’t matter if you’re supporting them from afar, as long as the interaction is consistent.

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Creating a parenting plan for a physically-absent parent -

A parenting plan is usually a legal document, which can include the child's visitation schedule. A clear and workable plan contributes to healthy parent-child communication and a more civilized relationship with the other parent. It also reduces stress and uncertainty.

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Dealing with the challenges -

Some challenges can appear when you're a long-distance parent. Thankfully, there are ways to cope with common issues a physically-distant parent might experience.

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What if the other parent isn’t cooperating? -

One of the biggest challenges for a long-distance parent is an uncooperative co-parent. But since they're key to maintaining stable contact with the child, be nice and don't fire back. Try to stay on their good side.

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What if communication becomes boring to your child? -

As a responsible adult, the quality of communication depends primarily on you. Therefore, you need to constantly be creative and invent new ways to keep their attention and interest.

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What if your child doesn't recognize your authority? -

Some will experience that their child doesn't perceive them as authority figures since they’re far away. If there's a civilized relationship with the other parent, then this can be corrected with a set of rules.

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Co-parenting strategies -

So, how can you co-parent more efficiently? Well, there are two things you can start with.

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Agree on a communication schedule -

Parents usually build their communication slots around school and work hours. Try to stick to that, but be ready to be flexible at trading weekends and rescheduling a chat time. Life can be hectic, so you won't be able to plan every little thing.

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Synchronize calendars with another parent -

A shared online calendar is a great way for both parents to keep track of their child’s activities. Everyone will also get advanced notice of cancelations or changes.

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Long-distance parenting tips -

Maintaining a long-distance relationship with your child can be tricky, but it’s not impossible if you try out the following tips.

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Always initiate the communication -

Proactive communication is key for long-distance parenting. And as the adult, you need to reach out first and constantly.

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Set reminders - When it comes to calls and important dates, set reminders so that you never disappoint your child by missing out.

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Be consistent -

Stick to a set schedule of calls and video chats to earn your child’s trust and respect. Also, do face-to-face visits as often as possible.

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Use age-appropriate ways to engage children in communication -

Find out how children behave at different ages and build a communication strategy accordingly. For example, with a toddler, be prepared to be in charge of communication. And don't expect them to stay engaged for that long, as they have a shorter attention span.

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Set up a schedule for phone calls -

Your child will handle the long-distance relationship best when they can count on hearing from you consistently. And make sure to keep the lines of communication open at all times.

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Show small gestures of appreciation -

Small gestures can have a significant impact on your child's self-esteem and willingness to bond. This includes hanging up your child's artwork, and decorating your home with photos of them.

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Write an old-fashioned letter -

Kids will appreciate getting a handwritten letter in the mail. It's a nice way to keep in touch and tell them stories. And you might get a cute letter back!

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Use social media -

You can also keep in touch on a daily basis by instant messaging over social media if your child is old enough, such as via Facebook Messenger or WhatsApp.

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Play games together -

Finding activities to bond over is important. It can be something like playing games together via the internet. You can try out puzzles or age-appropriate video games.

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Read together -

While you call at bedtime, read your child their favorite bedtime story. Together, you can name the characters, discuss the plot, and wonder about the ending.

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Provide unconditional emotional safety -

Being emotionally available is important, and this can be achieved from any distance. And it doesn't only apply when your kid is upset. Stay receptive, even in times of happiness.

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Agree to a visitation schedule you can follow -

Once you've agreed with the other parent on a visitation schedule, then it's vital to follow it. You need to also keep in mind travel arrangements, and what your kid might need when staying with you.

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Make the most of in-person visits -

Make the most of every visit in order to create unforgettable memories. Both you and your child will cherish these moments.

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Be there -

Perfect parenting doesn't exist. But as a parent, you need to always provide for and engage with your child, even if you're going through a difficult time.

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Be compassionate -

Parental separation often triggers feelings of abandonment and uncertainty for children. No matter the distance, your child needs to feel your presence, receive your love, and enjoy your attention.

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Don't only bond over social media -

Social media posts and comments can't replace real-life interactions because they're not personal enough. Try to find a balance in the ways you keep in touch.

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Respect everyone’s privacy -

Being the long-distance parent means you won’t know what your kids are doing every moment of every day. And while regular communication is crucial, there’s also a limit. Don't bombard them with messages and calls, and allow some space for privacy. Especially if they're teenagers.

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You can do it -

Hopefully these tips can help you feel better about long-distance parenting. And remember: being the physically-distanced parent doesn’t have to translate to being disconnected from your child.

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