
































© Shutterstock
0 / 33 Fotos
'Per my last email'
- Can you not read? I've already answered everything you're asking!
© Shutterstock
1 / 33 Fotos
'Thank you for your feedback, I'll keep it in mind'
- I do not agree at all with your criticism. In fact, it's completely irrelevant, and I will never consider it.
© Shutterstock
2 / 33 Fotos
'While I understand your urgency'
- It is not my fault that you are running behind on your tasks, so do not rush me.
© Shutterstock
3 / 33 Fotos
'I've attached another copy for your convenience'
- You are either incompetent, unorganized, or ignoring the first copy I sent you.
© Shutterstock
4 / 33 Fotos
Some background
- Corporate jargon, corporate lingo, office buzzwords, otherwise known as BS (business speak, that is), has apparently been around since the '50s, when employees started feeling a disconnect in newly-formed large conglomerates and managers wanted a way to create an emotionally conducive workplace that would maximize profits, Wonderwall reports.
© Shutterstock
5 / 33 Fotos
'Shall we take this offline?'
- I do not want to talk about this anymore, but if we must then give me some time to figure out what is actually happening.
© Shutterstock
6 / 33 Fotos
'Correct me if I'm wrong'
- I know 100% that I am not wrong and there is no use in challenging me. But I dare you…
© Shutterstock
7 / 33 Fotos
'Let's have an onboarding session'
- I cannot wait to spill some serious tea!
© Shutterstock
8 / 33 Fotos
'Just a few things'
- There are many, many things wrong with this, but let's start slow.
© Shutterstock
9 / 33 Fotos
Some background
- Harvard Business Review wrote on Instagram that while corporate jargon is necessary in certain industries, "Research suggests that jargon can also result from insecurity and a desire for professional status. It can also make communication more difficult for group outsiders and lead them to disengage." Now for some examples of jargon and what they're often intended to mean...
© Shutterstock
10 / 33 Fotos
'At your earliest convenience'
- Do this now!
© Shutterstock
11 / 33 Fotos
'Just to clarify'
- Are you aware of how ridiculous your input sounds right now?
© Shutterstock
12 / 33 Fotos
'There's a disconnect between what was communicated and the final product'
- That's not what I told you to do!
© Shutterstock
13 / 33 Fotos
'Just circling back'
- Stop beating around the bush and give me a straight answer. Or: even though you might have told me you're working on it, I need to look like I'm managing this well by applying pressure.
© Shutterstock
14 / 33 Fotos
'I'll let you two take it from here'
- I never once wanted to participate in this conversation and finally I have found an out. Please do not contact me on this further.
© Shutterstock
15 / 33 Fotos
'As you no doubt are aware'
- We both know you got yourself into trouble, so there's no use in pretending.
© Shutterstock
16 / 33 Fotos
'Let's have an ideation session'
- I am exhausted and cannot think of anything, so let's get together and call it brainstorming while you actually just give me ideas.
© Shutterstock
17 / 33 Fotos
'As previously discussed'
- I foolishly trusted your mental capacity and didn't put it in writing, but now I realize that I was wrong to assume you were an adult who could retain obvious information.
© Shutterstock
18 / 33 Fotos
'Keep me in the loop'
- I absolutely do not trust you to accomplish anything.
© Shutterstock
19 / 33 Fotos
'Friendly reminder'
- The intention behind this message is extremely unfriendly...
© Shutterstock
20 / 33 Fotos
'Thanks in advance'
- I've phrased this as a request but it's actually a demand that I want no further discussion on.
© Shutterstock
21 / 33 Fotos
'Let me know if you have any questions!'
- I am really hoping that you don't ask me any questions.
© Shutterstock
22 / 33 Fotos
'Thanks for the input!'
- I did not ask for your input, and this unsolicited advice is not useful to me. Do not do it again.
© Shutterstock
23 / 33 Fotos
'To put it more simply'
- To put it in a dumbed-down way that even a simpleton like you might understand...
© Shutterstock
24 / 33 Fotos
'Go after the low hanging fruits'
- The work is still difficult, but I will use a casual tone so that you might think it's easy and just get started and stop complaining already.
© Shutterstock
25 / 33 Fotos
'This idea has legs'
- I'm going to reject this idea, but only later because you look like you really can't handle it right now.
© Shutterstock
26 / 33 Fotos
'Going forward'
- I will not let you forget that one mistake you made and I will use this opportunity to bring it up again so that you absolutely shake in your boots if you mess up again.
© Shutterstock
27 / 33 Fotos
'I want this by EOD (end of day)'
- This isn't actually that important, but I really do not enjoy seeing that you have a life.
© Shutterstock
28 / 33 Fotos
'Mail me the minutes of the meeting'
- I was absolutely zoned out and missed most of that, but do send me the summary, which I will probably not read.
© Getty Images
29 / 33 Fotos
'According to my records'
- I've been keeping receipts because I absolutely do not trust you, so don't even try to pull a fast one.
© Shutterstock
30 / 33 Fotos
'With all due respect'
- I do not respect you at all, but before I completely shut you down I need to make sure I won't get in trouble for it.
© Shutterstock
31 / 33 Fotos
'Hope this helps'
- Do not ask me for anything ever again or you will certainly receive calculated mediocrity. Sources: (Wonderwall) (Bored Panda) (LinkedIn Pulse) (Daily Mail) See also: These hilarious responses to "how are you" are so much better than "fine"
© Shutterstock
32 / 33 Fotos
© Shutterstock
0 / 33 Fotos
'Per my last email'
- Can you not read? I've already answered everything you're asking!
© Shutterstock
1 / 33 Fotos
'Thank you for your feedback, I'll keep it in mind'
- I do not agree at all with your criticism. In fact, it's completely irrelevant, and I will never consider it.
© Shutterstock
2 / 33 Fotos
'While I understand your urgency'
- It is not my fault that you are running behind on your tasks, so do not rush me.
© Shutterstock
3 / 33 Fotos
'I've attached another copy for your convenience'
- You are either incompetent, unorganized, or ignoring the first copy I sent you.
© Shutterstock
4 / 33 Fotos
Some background
- Corporate jargon, corporate lingo, office buzzwords, otherwise known as BS (business speak, that is), has apparently been around since the '50s, when employees started feeling a disconnect in newly-formed large conglomerates and managers wanted a way to create an emotionally conducive workplace that would maximize profits, Wonderwall reports.
© Shutterstock
5 / 33 Fotos
'Shall we take this offline?'
- I do not want to talk about this anymore, but if we must then give me some time to figure out what is actually happening.
© Shutterstock
6 / 33 Fotos
'Correct me if I'm wrong'
- I know 100% that I am not wrong and there is no use in challenging me. But I dare you…
© Shutterstock
7 / 33 Fotos
'Let's have an onboarding session'
- I cannot wait to spill some serious tea!
© Shutterstock
8 / 33 Fotos
'Just a few things'
- There are many, many things wrong with this, but let's start slow.
© Shutterstock
9 / 33 Fotos
Some background
- Harvard Business Review wrote on Instagram that while corporate jargon is necessary in certain industries, "Research suggests that jargon can also result from insecurity and a desire for professional status. It can also make communication more difficult for group outsiders and lead them to disengage." Now for some examples of jargon and what they're often intended to mean...
© Shutterstock
10 / 33 Fotos
'At your earliest convenience'
- Do this now!
© Shutterstock
11 / 33 Fotos
'Just to clarify'
- Are you aware of how ridiculous your input sounds right now?
© Shutterstock
12 / 33 Fotos
'There's a disconnect between what was communicated and the final product'
- That's not what I told you to do!
© Shutterstock
13 / 33 Fotos
'Just circling back'
- Stop beating around the bush and give me a straight answer. Or: even though you might have told me you're working on it, I need to look like I'm managing this well by applying pressure.
© Shutterstock
14 / 33 Fotos
'I'll let you two take it from here'
- I never once wanted to participate in this conversation and finally I have found an out. Please do not contact me on this further.
© Shutterstock
15 / 33 Fotos
'As you no doubt are aware'
- We both know you got yourself into trouble, so there's no use in pretending.
© Shutterstock
16 / 33 Fotos
'Let's have an ideation session'
- I am exhausted and cannot think of anything, so let's get together and call it brainstorming while you actually just give me ideas.
© Shutterstock
17 / 33 Fotos
'As previously discussed'
- I foolishly trusted your mental capacity and didn't put it in writing, but now I realize that I was wrong to assume you were an adult who could retain obvious information.
© Shutterstock
18 / 33 Fotos
'Keep me in the loop'
- I absolutely do not trust you to accomplish anything.
© Shutterstock
19 / 33 Fotos
'Friendly reminder'
- The intention behind this message is extremely unfriendly...
© Shutterstock
20 / 33 Fotos
'Thanks in advance'
- I've phrased this as a request but it's actually a demand that I want no further discussion on.
© Shutterstock
21 / 33 Fotos
'Let me know if you have any questions!'
- I am really hoping that you don't ask me any questions.
© Shutterstock
22 / 33 Fotos
'Thanks for the input!'
- I did not ask for your input, and this unsolicited advice is not useful to me. Do not do it again.
© Shutterstock
23 / 33 Fotos
'To put it more simply'
- To put it in a dumbed-down way that even a simpleton like you might understand...
© Shutterstock
24 / 33 Fotos
'Go after the low hanging fruits'
- The work is still difficult, but I will use a casual tone so that you might think it's easy and just get started and stop complaining already.
© Shutterstock
25 / 33 Fotos
'This idea has legs'
- I'm going to reject this idea, but only later because you look like you really can't handle it right now.
© Shutterstock
26 / 33 Fotos
'Going forward'
- I will not let you forget that one mistake you made and I will use this opportunity to bring it up again so that you absolutely shake in your boots if you mess up again.
© Shutterstock
27 / 33 Fotos
'I want this by EOD (end of day)'
- This isn't actually that important, but I really do not enjoy seeing that you have a life.
© Shutterstock
28 / 33 Fotos
'Mail me the minutes of the meeting'
- I was absolutely zoned out and missed most of that, but do send me the summary, which I will probably not read.
© Getty Images
29 / 33 Fotos
'According to my records'
- I've been keeping receipts because I absolutely do not trust you, so don't even try to pull a fast one.
© Shutterstock
30 / 33 Fotos
'With all due respect'
- I do not respect you at all, but before I completely shut you down I need to make sure I won't get in trouble for it.
© Shutterstock
31 / 33 Fotos
'Hope this helps'
- Do not ask me for anything ever again or you will certainly receive calculated mediocrity. Sources: (Wonderwall) (Bored Panda) (LinkedIn Pulse) (Daily Mail) See also: These hilarious responses to "how are you" are so much better than "fine"
© Shutterstock
32 / 33 Fotos
"Let's circle back": a hilarious translation guide to what people actually mean at work
Uncover the messages hidden in your corporate emails
© Shutterstock
When you put notoriously emotionally unkempt humans in a professional setting, you’re bound to get some passive aggressive behavior. But you won’t always recognize it!
Indeed, the corporate jargon you, your colleagues, and your bosses are sending over email and workplace chat platforms appears to be cool and collected, but it’s actually laden with coded messages. How can you be sure? Just think about the last time you wanted to berate someone for making your life harder at work—did you yell at them, or did you type out an email that politely reminded them of why their actions are grating and thanked them at the end?
Have we got your attention? Now, click through and read what some of the most common workplace jargon really means.
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