© Shutterstock

When does a joke actually becomes a dad joke? -

The answer is very simple: when it becomes apparent!

© Shutterstock

Calendar -

I used to work at a calendar factory, but then I got fired because I took a couple of days off.

© Shutterstock

Batteries -

I'm so generous that I gave my dead batteries away, free of charge!

© Shutterstock

Peanuts -

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

© Shutterstock

Kleenex -

Do you know how to make a Kleenex dance? Just put a little boogie in it!

© Shutterstock

Chicken coop -

Do you know why chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they'd be called chicken sedans.

© Shutterstock

Cemetery -

Have you ever wondered why there's a fence around the cemetery? It's because people are dying to get in!

© Shutterstock

Sandwich -

A ham and cheese sandwich walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says to the sandwich: "Sorry, we don’t serve food here."

© Shutterstock

Digging -

"I dig, you dig, he dig, she dig, they dig…" It might not be a very beautiful poem, but it certainly is very deep.

© Shutterstock

Atom -

Do you know why you should never trust an atom? Because they make up everything.

© Shutterstock

Change -

Change is hard. Just try to bend a coin and you'll see.

© Shutterstock

Toaster -

I couldn't believe it when I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof. In fact, I was shocked.

© Shutterstock

Fish -

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.

© Shutterstock

Factory -

What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.

© Shutterstock

Diet -

Do you know what a sprinter eats before a race? Nothing, they fast.

© Shutterstock

Soap -

Did you hear about that guy who used to be addicted to soap? He's clean now.

© Shutterstock

Sharks -

Swimming with sharks is really expensive. Last time I did it, it cost me an arm and a leg.

© Shutterstock

Watches -

What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.

© Shutterstock

Computer -

Do you know what's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer? The space bar. Wizards, on the other hand, are more into software. They love a good spell checker.

© Shutterstock

Bookmark -

I was very sad this morning when my son asked: "Can I have a bookmark?" He is 10 and still doesn't know my name is John.

© Shutterstock

Steak -

Why wasn't Han Solo happy about his steak dinner? Because it was a bit Chewie.

© Getty Images

Dogs -

Do you know why my friend called his dogs Timex and Rolex? Because they are watchdogs.

© Shutterstock

Cheese -

There was a huge explosion at a cheese factory in France. The brie was everywhere.

© Shutterstock

Memories -

This morning I was reminiscing about the amazing herb garden I had at home when I was growing up. Good thymes.

© Shutterstock

Astronaut -

There was this claustrophobic astronaut. It turns out, he just needed a little space.

© Shutterstock

Surgeon -

A surgeon told me he puts organs back in upside down. I told him that it wasn't funny, but he laughed and said it was an inside joke.

© Shutterstock

Apple Store -

Don't fart in an Apple Store. They don't have Windows. Plus, there might be lots of iWitnesses.

© Shutterstock

Air -

Do you know what's the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.

© Shutterstock

Elephant -

What did the elephant say when the crocodile bit off his trunk? "It won’t be long now!"

© Shutterstock

Hippie -

What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.

© Shutterstock

Sentence -

Two guys stole a calendar. They each got 6 months.

© Shutterstock

Pirates -

Do you know why pirates don't take a bath before they walk the plank? Because they wash up on shore.

Sources: (Today) (List25) (Reader's Digest) (Country Living)

See also: Hilariously embarrassing celebrity parents

© Shutterstock