© Shutterstock

It's never been easier not to commit -

In the age of smartphones, Tinder, and instant hookups, it can be pretty difficult to know where you stand with someone. When relationships don’t follow a classic timeline, it’s hard to know.

© Shutterstock

Courtship -

The classic way of doing things (dating, followed by emotional intimacy and physical intimacy) isn’t as common as we might think. We won’t meet people this way the majority of the time.

© Shutterstock

What are we? -

At some point, you will have to get down to it. You will have to have the “what are we” talk. It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and it can be painful, but not nearly half as painful as letting time move on and not knowing where you stand.

© Shutterstock

When you don't expect to hear from them -

Now, let's get down to the signs you're in a non-committed relationship. If you’ve been seeing someone for a long time and you don’t expect to hear from them or know when you’re going to hang out next, it may be a sign.

© Shutterstock

When you don't expect to hear from them -

In a strong committed relationship, you should be able to count on your partner to show up. They should respond to your texts, keep you up to date with plans, and make time to see you.

© Shutterstock

Do you feel hot and cold? -

Lack of consistency can pull on the heartstrings. If you don’t define it, the person might not even know that you’re expecting more from them.

© Shutterstock

Committed partners plan ahead together -

In relationships, partners tend to plan the future together in some capacity. They don’t need to be excessively long-term, but commitment implies that you’ll be around at some time in the future. 

© Shutterstock

Plans don't have to be big -

Talking about the future can involve meeting the family, going to an event, or even planning to move in together or get a mortgage. It doesn’t have to be big. But it should exist on some level.

© Shutterstock

When you bring up the future... -

If you try to bring up the future with your current partner and they dodge the question or give vague responses, it’s another sign that you’re in a non-committed relationship. They’re trying to spare your feelings.

© Shutterstock

If they say they can't commit, believe them -

If they say they’re not serious about a relationship or aren’t looking for something that requires commitment, take their word for it. Often we get caught up in trying to convince them (and ourselves).

© Shutterstock

Pull away -

If you don’t want a fling and they don’t want anything to do with commitment, then the most respectful thing to do is to stop seeing the person. It shouldn't be too difficult to keep yourself distracted if the relationship hasn't existed for long.

© Shutterstock

Self-respect and respect for the other person -

It’s disrespectful to yourself to be with someone who doesn’t completely want to commit to you, and it's disrespectful to them to put pressure on the situation.

© Shutterstock

Introducing partners to friends -

Some people will only introduce partners to their friends if they expect to still be with the person a little further down the line.

© Shutterstock

No sign -

If after a decent amount of time there’s no sign of you ever hanging out with other people with them, then the likelihood is that it’s not happening for a reason.

© Shutterstock

It need not be a big gesture -

You don’t have to be invited to some formal dinner with parents and extended relatives. If you make the suggestion about meeting their friends or that they should meet yours and it’s met with hostility, then there’s a good chance that something is up.

© Shutterstock

Hook-up territory -

People in non-committed relationships won’t have a deep personal connection. This is where relationships get into the hook-up territory. If you feel fine about it, then great. But if you don’t, it’s best not to leave it sitting.

© Shutterstock

Surface-level connection -

Surface-level connection in relationships means you both don’t have a deep emotional connection. It’s pretty normal at the beginning of a relationship. You’re not going to understand someone in the first moment.

© Shutterstock

What surface-level connection looks like -

It might look like not having anything in common or not being able to speak about intimacy. It might look like conversations lulling most of the time.

© Shutterstock

All relationships are based on convenience, but some more so than others -

While it can be argued that all relationships are based on convenience (same city, same friend group, etc.), non-committed relationships are always this way.

© Shutterstock

Last-minute invites -

Invites tend to be last minute and kind of random. They might leave for weeks and you hear nothing from them until they’re back. They don’t go out of their way for you.

© Shutterstock

A lack of date nights -

There’s a lack of date nights in non-committed relationships. A clear sign is that you don’t see someone much outside of the bedroom; the relationship is purely physical.

© Shutterstock

The purely physical -

The purely physical relationship is, by nature, a non-committed relationship. It’s important to note, however, that some relationships have dates that aren’t public but are meaningful.

© Shutterstock

Committed relationships induce feelings of safety and security -

No healthy relationship should be based on anxiety. When you’re in a healthy relationship with another person, you should feel safe and secure.

© Shutterstock

Butterflies and anxiety -

You might feel butterflies at the beginning of a relationship, but you shouldn’t feel ridden with anxiety about whether they’ll respond to you or not.

© Shutterstock

Separating life from relationships -

Relationships are hard to define. It’s hard to know if the relationship is causing anxiety or if it’s a host of many other parts of your life (or theirs).

© Shutterstock

Simultaneously dating other people -

If you’re seeing someone who isn’t committed enough to not see and date other people unless you agree that you’re both happy with a polyamorous relationship, then you probably have an issue.

© Shutterstock

Saving yourself the suffering -

Finding out whether a person is willing to be exclusive with you in a committed relationship can save you a lot of pain and misery.

© Shutterstock

Non-committed relationships aren't necessarily a bad thing -

Non-committed relationships are only a bad thing if they don’t feel right. For some people in certain periods of their lives, they’re perfect. A common example would be when people are in college/university or moving around a lot.

© Shutterstock

Distancing yourself -

Finally, if you’re struggling with being in a non-committed relationship and talking about it doesn’t help or make them more sensitive to the situation, your best route of action may be to distance yourself.

Sources: (Relish)

© Shutterstock