© Shutterstock

Anglerfish - This really is a tragic love story. When an anglerfish wants to mate, he sinks his teeth into the female fish. He becomes permanently attached to her.

© Shutterstock

Anglerfish - The male lives like a parasite off the female fish until they fuse. The male is completely absorbed by the female. Only in this way can the female reproduce.

© Getty Images

Octopodes - Octopodes are clever and cunning. Researchers have seen that some male octopodes live beside females to guard them. Then, after some time, they change their colors to impersonate a female octopus. This way he can slip into her cave and she won’t know his real identity until it’s too late.

© Getty Images

Hippopotami - Thank goodness humans are not more like hippopotami! Their mating game is all about defecation. When the male wants to mate, he will make sure the environment is covered in his urine and feces. He tops it off with some mind-blowing farts.

© Getty Images

Hippopotami - If the female hippopotamus is into it, she raises her behind just above the waterline. Then, she literally showers him in poop. The scientific name for it is “submissive defecation.”

© Getty Images

Flatworms - Flatworms live in the sea and are hermaphrodites. This means that they contain both female and male sexual organs. As you might imagine, this makes mating a bit confusing.

© Getty Images

Flatworms - When two flatworms come together they fight, using a sharp double-headed p e n i s  as a sword. They fight until at least one is inseminated by being stabbed by the other.

© Getty Images

Clownfish -

Incredibly, all clownfish are born male. They have to fight their whole life to climb up a hierarchy that is dependent on size and fighting ability. The fish at the top of the hierarchy transitions into a female clownfish.

© Getty Images

Clownfish - In a whole shoal, there is only one female. She will mate with the second-best clownfish in the hierarchy. This is a perfect example of a species strengthening itself through selective breeding.

© Getty Images

Antechinuses - These critters are also known as marsupial mice and reside in Australia. They have a very tough time of mating. When they reach puberty, their testes start to disintegrate. The mice only have a few weeks to mate before they die.

© Shutterstock

Antechinuses - The mice go into a mating frenzy where they don’t sleep. While they are on their quest for a female, their hair falls out, they develop ulcers, and sometimes gangrene. How could the females say no?

© Shutterstock

Nursery web spiders - The male nursery spider goes to find the female spider to mate with her. When he visits, he brings with him a lovely present of food wrapped in silk. Scientists think it is to stop her from eating the male spider.

© Getty Images

Garter snake - Garter snakes are all over the place when it comes to mating. In Narcisse, Manitoba, there is the largest snake gathering in the world. This is where the garter snake mates.

© Getty Images

Garter snake - Around 100 males roll up into a huge ball surrounding a single female. They all try and mate with her at the same time. Some males even release female hormones to trick the other males away from the chosen female.

© Getty Images

Pufferfish -

The male pufferfish really goes to town when he wants to catch a lady’s eye. For about a week, he dedicates his time to creating circles in the sand his fins.

© Getty Images

Pufferfish - Then he decorate the circles with shell pieces. The females come to inspect the exhibition. If they like what they see, then they mate with the artist. Researchers still cannot figure out what exactly the females are looking for in these sand circles.

© Getty Images

Bowerbirds - The male bower bird is a natural architect. During mating season, the male will create a tower out of sticks called, unsurprisingly, a “bower” He then collects and decorates his palace with stones and the like.

© Getty Images

Bowerbirds - The bowerbird is also an illusionist. When the female comes to the structure, the male will show her the things he has collected. He always puts the larger things further away so he looks bigger from her perspective.

© Getty Images

Bees -

The male honey bee, also known as a drone, takes his own life for the sake of his queen. When they are mating, he  e j a c u l a t e s  and explodes. He becomes paralyzed and dies. Meanwhile, his semen stays with the queen as part of her store.

© Getty Images

Manakins - Just as humans often do, manakins act as wingmen to each other. Two males perform a dance and sing together. The female watches. If she wants to mate, only the alpha of the male pair can do it. The other just sits back and learns.

© Getty Images

Albatrosses - These migratory birds are completely monogamous. They can fly for years without landing, but when they do land it is always to be with the same partner. Every few years they return to the Galapagos Islands to mate.

© Getty Images

Albatrosses - When the partners meet, they do a 20-minute mating dance before getting together. When they do have a little one, it is fed by its parent for a year before it sets off around the world.

© Getty Images

Humpback whales - These whales believe the way to a woman’s heart is through song. During the mating season, many humpback males group together to form “arenas.” They sing in chorus to attract the females.

© Getty Images

Love birds - The mating ritual for these birds is not so much weird as it is cute. They spend their whole lives together. They groom each other, feed each other through regurgitation, and make nests together. When they are separated, they often die from a broken heart.

© Getty Images

Adélie penguins -

Female Adélie penguins like shiny gifts. Consequently, male Adélie penguins spend a lot of their lives looking for shiny round pebbles. When they find the right one, they bring it to the female they desire.

© Getty Images

Adélie penguins - If the female likes the pebble, she will accept it and mate with him. Together, they make a nest of pebbles for an egg. However, if another penguin she likes better comes along, she will ditch the old lover.

© Getty Images

Porcupines - There is not much opportunity for female porcupines to mate. Only eight to 12 hours a year to be precise. When the time comes, the male porcupine will climb a tree so they are directly above the female. Then they let out a long stream of urine onto her...

© Getty Images

Porcupines -

If the female enjoys the smell, she will mate with him. As there is not much time for her, she really goes for it. She mates with him until he is exhausted. She gets pregnant 90% of the time.

© Getty Images

Bonobos - The bonobo is the most similar animal to humans in the world and they also mate similarly. However, they don’t have any of those pesky social norms. Bonobos have sex for pleasure, not just for reproduction, and they feel no shame over it–and good for them!

© Getty Images

Bonobos -

These monkeys carry out a variety of sexual acts with both sexes. For them, sex is a way of making friendships, forming groups, and sometimes a currency. They also have intercourse face-to-face.

Sources: (CBC) (One Kind Planet)

See also: 30 fascinating facts about primates

© Getty Images