Spiritual bypassing: 10 common mistakes you might be making - The term “spirituality” carries various mental images, images that are peaceful like vast mountain ranges, blissful like sunsets, and transcendental like big temples. While spirituality can be all of these things, these attractive images can also be used in a way to avoid the more substantial work required for real enlightenment.

That’s where the term “spiritual bypassing” comes in. It is the use of spirituality to give you a false feeling of security and happiness, while actually hindering your growth. We all know people who are addicted to inspirational quotes, horoscopes, or some higher power of protection. There are many shapes spiritual bypassing can take, and most people aren’t even aware they’re making these mistakes. Click through to see 10 examples, based on information from Lonerwolf, and how you can avoid making them.

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Origins of the term - "Spiritual bypassing” was coined by psychologist John Welwood in 1984 after he noticed in his Buddhist community that people would “use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.”

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It’s escapism -

To spiritually bypass is to use spirituality to avoid, suppress, or escape from uncomfortable issues in life by seeking out false senses of security.

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Many turn to spirituality in a time of need -

Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, family trauma, childhood abuse, loneliness, self-sabotaging behaviors, or any of life’s other hardships, many turn to spirituality as a sort of crutch, and begin to depend on it instead of use it to heal.

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Spirituality is not meant to be easy -

There are no tricks or shortcuts, and it typically requires a messy process of setting fire to old and harmful beliefs, prejudices, and illusions to allow a less burdened version of yourself to arise from the ashes.

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1. The optimistic bypass -

Forcing optimism onto difficult moments is one form of spiritual bypassing, including phrases like “Focus on the positive!” or any of its glass-half-full relatives.

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1. The optimistic bypass -

While it sounds harmless, it’s using optimism as a way to avoid the harder parts of life. It also tends to be a product of the inability to deal with negative emotions.

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2. The self-aggrandizement bypass -

This is a type of delusion many of us have probably seen, where spiritual seekers seek to portray themselves as superior or enlightened, but using an ego that typically negates the teachings of spirituality.

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2. The self-aggrandizement bypass -

Self-proclaimed masters, leaders, gurus, and spiritually awakened souls may rely on this delusion to hide from themselves their own insecurities.

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3. The victim bypass -

Have you ever heard someone describe themselves as an empath in order to use other people and their emotions as justification for their self-destruction or unhappiness?

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3. The victim bypass -

That is just one form of the victim bypass, which uses gifts of spiritual sensitivity (empath, clairvoyant, indigo child, gifted healer, etc) to remove their own responsibility for their health or happiness.

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4. The psychonaut bypass -

Various spiritual seekers have used psychedelic drugs like LSD, DMT, psilocybin mushrooms, mescaline, etc. to deepen their exploration of their mind and perception of reality, but it can easily be taken too far.

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4. The psychonaut bypass -

There are those who seek spirituality through psychedelic drugs, and it becomes a way to escape reality and avoid the real work it takes to explore spiritual frontiers and interrogate your perception of existence.

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5. The horoscope bypass -

Everyone knows someone (or has been that someone) who relies completely on their horoscopes or psychics for guidance and predictions, putting the outcomes of their lives in someone else’s hands.

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5. The horoscope bypass -

Like reliance on anything outside of yourself, this form of spiritual bypassing comes from a mistrust of ourselves, a fear of the future, and our inability to make decisions of our own.

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6. The saint bypass -

When we’re young, we are made to believe that a spiritual person is always kind, compassionate, and saintly through and through, but as adults this narrative is very misleading because the truth is that even spiritual people are not perfect.

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6. The saint bypass -

This can take many shapes, including spiritual people overlooking any faults of their own, or putting immense pressure on oneself, or overcompensation with the guise of a sweet, heavenly exterior.

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7. The spirit guide bypass -

There are various spiritual guides depending on what belief system you subscribe to, from angels on Earth to any god, and the idea that they’re there to protect us is pleasing, but places them as a sort of babysitter instead of as a guide for your own work.

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7. The spirit guide bypass -

It’s a classic spiritual bypass in that by placing our faith completely in some other power to keep us safe, we avoid developing the courage and resilience needed to protect ourselves.

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8. The prayer bypass -

Prayers can be a powerful tool to reconnect us with whatever spiritual energy we seek, but have you ever met someone whose answer to every problem was to pray? Whose daily behaviors didn’t align with their prayers?

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8. The prayer bypass -

The point where prayers become a problem is when they’re used not as a tool for guidance on what action to take, but as the action itself. We forgo personal responsibility by putting it all on a higher power to solve our problems.

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9. The guru bypass -

Gurus, shamans, or any spiritual teachers are fantastic tools to help you learn and grow. However, becoming too attached and transforming that relationship, even unknowingly, from listening to them to worshipping them is another form of spiritual bypassing.

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9. The guru bypass -

Their words are the beginning of your journey to integrate spiritual principles. But when their words become the end, the irrefutable truth, we stop thinking for ourselves and stop any true spiritual growth.

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10. The finger-pointing bypass -

Most spiritual journeys bring with them at some point a very harsh and frustrating realization about the delusions and harmful behaviors of others.

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10. The finger-pointing bypass -

Getting wrapped up in the affairs of others is yet another way to remove the responsibility to look inward, and it also can instill us with a false sense of righteousness.

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What can you do? -

Firstly, you have to be willing to cultivate an open mind, and even more so willing to be wrong or misguided. Without brutal honesty with yourself, there’s nowhere to even begin. Mistakes are welcome in spirituality!

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Examine both light and dark in yourself -

It’s easy not to see the consequences of your own actions when you have good intentions, but try to question yourself extensively about your practices. Try “Is this hurting me/others in some way?” or “How is this making me weak or dependent?”

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Test yourself with hypothetical situations -

If you’re not sure, for example, if your relationship to your spiritual guide is healthy, ask yourself what you would do if your teacher betrayed your ethics?

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Get acquainted with cognitive dissonance -

Cognitive dissonance (CD) is a state of being where a person’s beliefs and behaviors do not align, but it often results in denial or a lot of “explaining away.” It’s common when people do not practice what they preach.

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Ask people -

Those with whom you have healthy relationships can give you a better look at yourself with your best interests at heart. Ask them specifically about these methods of spiritual bypassing, but brace yourself.

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Face and feel your emotions! -

Spiritual bypassing helps us avoid emotions like grief, fear, shame, rage, and hatred, so facing them head on is the best way to avoid hindering your own spiritual journey.

See also: Spiritual and healing destinations for a heightened sense of well-being.

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