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Know the time limits you’re working with -

It takes between 90 seconds and four minutes for another person to realize that you are flirting with them.

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Body language is the most effective sign -

That means you have to be bold and emit more than 90 seconds of body language if you want to be seen.

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The key is in conveying your interest -

Many people mistake flirting as showing off and impressing someone. The real key is conveying that you like someone and find them interesting and attractive. They’ll instantly be more inclined to like you.

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There are various kinds of flirting - Social Issues Research Center posits that 55% of flirting happens through body language, 38% by the tone and speed of voice, and 7% through what we say.

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Skip the pickup lines -

Most people spend way too much time worrying about what they’ll say, when what they're not saying is much more effective. That said, proceed with caution, as research has also shown that men tend to mistake friendly behavior for flirting.

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Women are typically great at subtlety -

From a young age, girls are taught not to be the chaser in romantic situations, so by the time women are grown, they’re often better at using the following body signals to indicate their interest.

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The classic "come-hither" look -

It's that unmistakable alluring look that says so much by saying nothing at all.

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Restless fingers -

Women tend to let their fingers do the talking with things like tracing their wine glass, twirling their pen, or lightly touching their neck area.

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Hair play -

A seasoned flirt tends to flip her hair, tuck it behind her ears, or twirl strands around her  fingers.

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Drawing attention to her lips -

Lips are effective tools for the flirtatious woman, and if she's applying red lipstick without a mirror, it's likely she wants you to notice.

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Crossing and uncrossing legs -

Like Sharon Stone in 'Basic Instinct,' though not so R-rated, crossing your legs can really grab someone's attention. The dangling shoe shows she’s relaxed, and is in no rush to be anywhere else.

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Continuous smiling -

No one smiles that much for someone they’re not interested in.

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Men are typically more into the hunt -

Brought up to be the chaser, men tend to make their intentions clear with erect postures and various other techniques to make themselves look bigger, especially if with a group of friends.

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A slightly raised eyebrow -

This is as subtle as it usually gets for typical male flirting. It’s a classic signal of arousal, whether you’re arousing his mind with your intellect, or something else...

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The "accidental" brush -

He might accidentally bump into you on the way to the bathroom and offer a cheeky smile. Oops!

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Fixing his hair, clothes, etc. -

This comes from a generalized view that men who are off the clock like to remain relaxed. So, when he starts straightening himself up while in a relaxed environment, he is likely signaling that he's interested.

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Moving in closer -

A popular way men flirt is by moving in closer, indicating that they're completely engaged. They should also, however, be sensitive to the reactive body language that may indicate that they're too close for comfort.

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The smallest touch -

Men often find an excuse to touch your arm, your back, your shoulder, etc. If performed correctly, the small touch will feel electric. If it’s inappropriate, however, all chances are out the window.

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Making his body look open -

Women do this as well, but men tend to open up their posture (not turned away, no crossed arms, etc.) in a more obvious way.

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Much of flirting transcends gender roles -

While you can rely on some common trends regarding men and women’s signals, there’s something clearer and more effective when it comes to flirting: imitation.

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Imitation is the highest form of flattery -

Imagine you’re sitting on a bench, engaged in a conversation. You lean back into the bench, and moments later they do too. Then they cross their legs, and soon after you do the same. This simple echoing can be more powerful than you think.

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It’s all in the imitation -

Studies have found that the chances of strangers bonding depend heavily on this synchronized, usually unconscious mimicry of gestures. It creates a sense of comfort between you.

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We like people who are like ourselves -

It may sound narcissistic, but it’s also proven in studies that examine couples who look alike. Flirting by (subtle) imitation puts you in sync and can signal that the feelings are mutual.

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Never underestimate the eyes -

Eye contact is one of the most direct ways to tell if a person is really interested. Just as the line in 'Scarface' goes: “The eyes, chico. They never lie.”

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Different kinds of eye contact -

If a person looks over at you from across the room, then looks away when you look back, but can't seem to stop looking over, chances are they are interested in you.

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Men typically use eye contact to test the waters -

A man is more likely to approach a woman only after she has made direct eye contact with him. Many women intuitively know this, and will purposely avoid eye contact to discourage anyone trying to approach them.

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The long gaze -

You know the one, where there’s non-creepy staring directly into each other’s eyes, signaling romantic or intimate desires in one of the most effective ways. That’s why some couples therapists recommend long gazing to those who have lost their intimate spark.

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The decidedly intense eye contact -

If you really want to communicate your desire for intimate touch through flirtation, stare into someone’s eyes for a couple seconds, then break eye contact to look at a part of their body (hands or lips work best) and then look back at their eyes.

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Take a hint the opposite way as well -

You have to be just as receptive to signals saying “no” as you are to signals saying “yes.” If someone you’re trying to gaze into breaks eye contact, they’re likely not interested and you should move on before you seem like a stalker.

See also: Dating rules you should break (and ones you really shouldn't)

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