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Break: Guys ask first - This is the 21st century! Anyone is allowed to ask anyone out, and guys are allowed to be shy too. The first step is always intimidating, but be strong and go after what you want.

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Follow: Offer to pay on the first date - This goes for all genders! Don’t expect your date to pay, and always offer to at least split the bill.

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Break: Avoid serious topics at the beginning - Many people advise sticking to easy topics on first dates, but getting into deeper territory like politics, religion, family etc. isn’t something to be afraid of. Better to know sooner rather than later!

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Follow: Don’t settle - The point of dating is to find someone who suits you, not just finding anyone. It’s better to be single than to be with someone who doesn’t do it for you.

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Break: Wait a certain amount of time to get physical -

Traditional advice tells us that if we get physical too early, or too late, we risk sending the wrong message. But there is no right or wrong! Do what feels natural and comfortable.

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Follow: Don’t ghost - Ghosting (suddenly disappearing) is one of the most unfortunate dating trends of the modern era. Have a basic level of decency and respect for the other person, and just tell them if you’re not interested.

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Break: Never bring up the ex - Bringing up the ex is a huge no-no for most people, but talking about exes on a first date is actually a great way to learn about the other person and quickly identify any red flags.

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Follow: Don’t stalk them online - Try not to dive five years into their posts, and keep off their exes’ profiles. It’s difficult to refrain, but at least give their real-life personality a chance.

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Break: You can’t go out with anyone your friend has dated -

If it didn’t work out for unproblematic reasons, you should ask your friend if you can date that person. Social circles are small, so don’t miss an opportunity.

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Follow: Keep it off social media until the time is right - A new era means new dating rules, and it’s generally a good idea to keep your relationship offline until the time is right. Don’t add unnecessary pressure!

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Break: Treat dating like work - Many people treat dating like a job—swiping for hours and working out compatibility charts down to the astrological houses—but dating should be fun!

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Follow: Don’t presume that you're exclusive - Rules about dating exclusivity tend to differ across cultures, but it’s better not to assume that someone is exclusively seeing you unless you have a conversation about it.

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Break: The three-day rule - Waiting at least three days to get in touch with someone is an outdated rule! If you like them, don’t play games. And if a timely message turns someone off, they’ve got their own issues.

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Follow: Listen to your inner voice - Particularly when it comes to dating, your instincts can tell you more about what’s really going on than any other evidence, helping you avoid the wrong people and stick with the good ones.

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Break: Act like a "lady" -

The traditional dating rules for men are different from those for women, and certain “lady-like” behaviors are drummed into women from a young age, such as never showing interest, and waiting for the other person to make the moves. Act like yourself.

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Follow: Take it slower rather than faster -

Different relationships move at different paces, but moving too quickly increases the chance of making big mistakes. If you think they’re "the one," taking things slower shouldn’t change that.

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Break: Hide all flaws for as long as possible - It’s normal to want to impress people with the best version of yourself when you start dating, but trying to hide your flaws will only set you up for failure later on.

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Follow: Don’t be pressured to date - It sometimes feels like you have to be dating someone at all times, but dating for the sake of dating will likely result in wasted time, money, and unnecessary stress. Only date when you’re ready.

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Break: Play hard to get - If you like someone, let them know! You don’t have to be coy or treat dating like a power play.

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Follow: Plan the appropriate first date - Your date doesn’t have to be an expensive dinner at a five-star restaurant. You should also be honest if the location someone suggests doesn’t appeal to you—find something you both like.

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Break: Be light and giggly - A popular dating tip for women is to always appear easy-going and agreeable, but don't stifle your opinions or laugh at jokes you don't think are funny. Always be your authentic self.

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Follow: Don’t be afraid to take charge - You don’t have to wait to stumble upon your soulmate. Increase your chances of meeting the right person by meeting more people, and you'll also get a better idea of who you really want to be with.

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Break: Only say yes to plans that aren’t last minute - Planning ahead is great and shows a degree of maturity, but being open to a spontaneous coffee with someone unveils a whole world of exciting possibility.

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Follow: Maintain a sense of self - All too often people become consumed by new relationships. Taking the time and space for your own feelings and activities is important for both you and the relationship.

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Break: Look for love at first sight -

If you don’t feel a spark, don’t run away! Of course, you shouldn’t lower your standards, but give chemistry a chance to form.

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Follow: Listen to the other person - On dates, we're often focused on how we're portraying ourselves, but don’t forget to genuinely listen to what the other person is saying. The conversation is the part you’ll both remember.

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Break: Have a plan - Knowing what you want and being honest about it is important, but life can take you in unexpected directions, so don’t to approach every single date as if you’re interviewing a potential life partner.

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Follow: Put your phone away -

There’s nothing worse than being on a date with someone who is only half-present. Show them you value their company by giving them your full attention.

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Break: The obligatory first date -

Just because someone asked, or you flirted with them once, or they did something nice for you, doesn’t mean you owe them a date. You also shouldn’t get upset if someone turns you down.

See also: Golden romance: your guide to dating in retirement

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