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There's no getting around it: breakups are tough. Whether you've been with someone for six months or six years, it is very difficult to untangle your life from someone else's; it inevitably brings up a wealth of difficult emotions. Well, there are lots of theories out there about what is the best way to move on from a relationship, and to a large extent it depends on the individual. For many people, however, following the No Contact rule is a great place to start.
Curious? Check out this gallery to learn more.
Cutting off all communication includes phone calls, texts, direct messages and likes on social media, as well as in-person meetups.
Although it is difficult, there are proven benefits to following the No Contact rule. Firstly, it allows you the space you need to get over the breakup.
It can be very difficult to process the loss and grief of a recent relationship if you are constantly reminding yourself of it by thinking of the other person.
The No Contact rule can also help prevent you from sliding back into the relationship, which creates confusing emotions and ultimately prolongs the pain.
Although it can be difficult to respect the hard boundary in the beginning, over time you’ll find it is the best way to move on with your life.
Despite its obvious benefits, the No Contact rule is no walk in the park. It can be very difficult to untangle your life from someone else’s, even if you were only together for a short time.
At some point, you will have a strong urge to reach out to your ex, and it is important that you resist. Luckily, there are some tactics you can use to help.
Write down your thoughts and feelings and allow the very process of writing to help you deal with your emotions in a healthier way.
It is also a good idea to spend time with friends. Connecting with others socially is an important way for us to deal with difficult periods in our lives.
Speak to your friends and ask whether they would be happy for you to reach out for a chat if ever you are feeling like getting back in contact with your ex.
It is also a good idea to keep your phone out of physical reach whenever you do not actively need to use it.
We all tend to reach for our phones when we’re bored, and it's while scrolling mindlessly that those ideas about texting the ex start to creep into our heads.
Finally, you might take some time to work out exactly what triggers the urge to contact your ex. Think about what you hope to gain from establishing that contact.
Of course, there may not be a clear answer. Even if that’s the case, however, just asking yourself the question can help you better understand your process.
Sticking to the No Contact rule is difficult, and many people break it at least once during the process. If that happens to you, don’t worry.
Be kind and patient with yourself; remind yourself that healing is a process and just because you slipped up once it does not mean the work has gone to waste.
If you are really struggling to stick with it, you could try changing your ex’s name in your phone to something off-putting.
Try and go for something that will remind you exactly what you are doing every time you pull up their contact to message or call them!
In terms of how long to follow the No Contact rule, every relationship is different. In many cases, people realize there is no need for them ever to contact their ex again.
In other situations, for example if you still have a lot of mutual friends, there may be a compelling reason to reestablish contact once the dust has settled.
If you are looking for a specific time frame, experts recommend between three to six months. Studies have shown that people start to feel better around the three-month mark.
If the relationship was toxic or abusive, however, it is advisable never to reconnect with your ex, since this can restart the cycle of abuse.
Sources: (Verywell Mind) (Cosmopolitan)
See also: What exactly is a cat lady?
The "No Contact" rule and why it works
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There's no getting around it: breakups are tough. Whether you've been with someone for six months or six years, it is very difficult to untangle your life from someone else's; it inevitably brings up a wealth of difficult emotions. Well, there are lots of theories out there about what is the best way to move on from a relationship, and to a large extent it depends on the individual. For many people, however, following the No Contact rule is a great place to start.
Curious? Check out this gallery to learn more.