You snooze you lose?
A proper therapist does help you navigate your desire to blame, but the point of therapy isn't to blame. It's supposed to empower you to take responsibility and live a better life.
Asking for clarification or a quick reminder on a specific detail is normal. But not remembering why you’re seeking treatment should be a red flag!
Once is fine, but more than that is just rude. You shouldn’t feel rushed to finish the session.
A therapist is legally bound to protect your privacy. They should only share confidential information if it's necessary to save a life.
Eating during a session is simply rude. Lunch breaks exist for a reason.
If you tell your therapist they made a mistake or that you didn't like their approach to an issue, then they should respond calmly and maturely.
Therapists should respect your religious, spiritual, political, and social beliefs. That means not imposing their beliefs on you.
If your therapist has made disparaging remarks about your sexual orientation, racial background, religion, or another aspect of your identity, then you shouldn't continue with them. And even if it wasn't about you, there's no need to continue if you felt uncomfortable.
This is a big no-no that no one should experience. Judging clients is hurtful and hinders progress in therapy.
Even when the session is done online, eye contact and body language are important, which research shows is essential for successful therapy.
While it's occasionally normal to feel bad after a session, especially if you touched on a difficult subject, sometimes it could be because of the clinician themselves. This is a sign they're not a good fit for you.
If you’re on time to your session, then you deserve the amount of minutes the therapist is charging you for.
Not every problem needs a clinical label. And sometimes rushing to diagnose someone can result in a false diagnosis.
If you tell them about a childhood trauma, their first response shouldn't be, "This is what Freud would say about that."
An obvious one, therapists need to listen and respond to what you're saying. If not, then they're not making enough effort to understand you and provide guidance.
Therapists can guide you, but they shouldn’t push on an issue if you tell them you don't want to talk about it. You get to decide where the session goes.
If you have a mental illness, your therapist shouldn’t treat it like something to be ashamed of.
You have the right to know what training and experience your therapist has. If they don’t specialize in what you're bringing to therapy, they should tell you.
Talking a bit about themselves is fine, as it sometimes can build a strong therapeutic alliance. However, the vast majority of therapy time should be about you.
If you get an uneasy feeling about your sessions with this person, trust your gut. It may be time to reevaluate a particular therapist.
If there's a ton of background noise or simply a lack of privacy, then there's a risk other people will hear the session. This can violate your privacy.
Your therapist shouldn't ask you to hang out as friends or follow you on social media. This can interfere with being objective during therapy.
If you ask for advice, then it's totally fine for therapists to share their thoughts and opinions. But they shouldn't be ordering you around, as this defeats the purpose of therapy.
If a therapist hesitates to give you too much advice, or any at all, then they may not be proactive enough.
If your therapist has touched you inappropriately or sexually propositioned you, it's important to end all sessions immediately and report the therapist.
If your therapist frequently shows up late, reschedules, cancels, or forgets about appointments, you may want to consider seeing a different mental health provider.
Your therapist may be highly trained and qualified, and yet simply doesn't get you. This might be because you share different religious, racial, gender, or class backgrounds. Whatever the case, if they don't "get you," it's a problem.
Don't worry—there are good therapists out there who will fit your needs and preferences.
Sources: (Verywell Mind) (Psych Central) (Self) (Talkspace)
See also: Everyday things you didn’t realize are harming your mental health
Your therapy is first and foremost about your healing and recovery. But if your sessions aren't helping, you're under no obligation to continue something that's not contributing to your growth. Good therapists practice with their clients’ best interests in mind, however, not every therapist is ideal for you. In some cases, it can even be difficult to determine exactly why therapy isn’t going well, therefore it's important to recognize certain warning signs that could be about the actual therapist.
If you're feeling uncertain, check out this gallery for the warning signs that you shouldn't ignore. Click on for more.
Signs that your therapist might not be a good fit
These are the red flags you should look out for
HEALTH Mental health
Your therapy is first and foremost about your healing and recovery. But if your sessions aren't helping, you're under no obligation to continue something that's not contributing to your growth. Good therapists practice with their clients’ best interests in mind, however, not every therapist is ideal for you. In some cases, it can even be difficult to determine exactly why therapy isn’t going well, therefore it's important to recognize certain warning signs that could be about the actual therapist.
If you're feeling uncertain, check out this gallery for the warning signs that you shouldn't ignore. Click on for more.