What are the origins of this fun-filled festive custom?
There are various red flags to watch out for in yourself that might indicate you are coming off as the insufferable, self-appointed protagonist of your social circle. But don’t worry: there are ways to remedy it!
Psychologist Michael G. Wetter told the Daily Mail that main character syndrome is an “inevitable consequence of the natural human desire to be recognized and validated merging with the rapidly evolving technology that allows for immediate and widespread self-promotion.”
When you’re talking to friends, family, colleagues, and loved ones, are you always the one sharing your problems and receiving emotional support? When someone asks how you are, do you answer and then forget to ask them back?
"Main character syndrome" is a term popularized by a younger generation, largely on TikTok, to describe self-centered, self-promotional people who view the other people in their lives as mere supporting actors or extras, meanwhile they are, of course, the leading star.
When crafting this perfect image for themselves, people with main character syndrome tend to be controlling, and they can lash out at anyone who contradicts their image or even cut people out if they don’t fit. They want to choose where to eat, what music to play, which pictures get posted, etc.
We all create narratives around ourselves as a kind of character online, represented only in part by polished posts, navigating an algorithm specifically adapted for ourselves, and basing most of our interactions on people “liking” us. It’s hard not to be self-centered on a social media platform.
People with main character syndrome tend to try to present a false image of themselves online to not only come off better, but also to carefully curate their online persona to portray their vision as this main character. They’re effectively trying to sell viewers on the plot of their fictional show.
One sure sign that you think everyone is simply an extra to your main character is to assume that people will always be available and willing to meet you or help you out, as if they don't have lives of their own.
Because people with main character syndrome are working so hard to construct and portray themselves and their lives in a certain way, they tend to be bad at taking criticism or even fielding jokes. They have difficulty accepting their own flaws, and ask for advice but hardly take it.
Every problem is like a juicy obstacle that adds to the plot for someone with main character syndrome, so small things become huge disturbances, and solutions are rarely your focus because problems are more exciting.
“Young people can often feel the need to escape from their reality, whether that’s from the pandemic or other societal pressures,” M'gadzah continues. “Social media provides them with the tools to escape but it can be all-consuming and self-perpetuating.”
The reason “main characters" try to fictionalize their lives through validation from others is often because their life isn't nearly as perfect as it seems, psychology professor Phil Reed wrote in Psychology Today. This main character becomes something you can control in a world that feels out of your control.
People with main character syndrome unsurprisingly tend to look camera ready at all times, acting in ways as if others are watching them. Are you always trying to angle yourself with your “good side” facing whoever’s watching?
Shungu Hilda M'gadzah, director and Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion lead consultant psychologist at Inclusion Psychologists Limited, told Glamour UK, "The impact of Main Character Syndrome can vary significantly depending on its severity. In extreme cases, it can result in people losing touch with reality and becoming consumed by their own worlds.”
Treating the world with so little empathy for others will only fuel a destructive, isolated, and individualistic society that fails to work together—a skill which is becoming ever more necessary with global threats to our mental and physical health and safety on the rise.
If you were treated like an extra or a minor character by one of your friends, how long do you think that relationship would last? People have to naturally take turns being supporting characters to others and share the spotlight.
M'gadzah adds, “The syndrome is not always extreme and can often be managed. It's about not allowing it to take over and not considering your needs and problems to always be more important than others.”
The real world is always ready to humble you, no matter who you are. A fake identity and a fake life will inevitably crumble, and when it does you’ll feel even more out of control of your narrative than before. If you don’t like your life, work on what you don’t like instead of constructing an illusory one.
Helen Llewellyn, director at Infinity Wellbeing, told Glamour UK, "Young people can avoid this syndrome by practicing living in the moment. Walking in nature, practical mindfulness or meditation will all help. Tap into who you are now rather than who you think you want to be."
The first and biggest way to combat this new phenomenon is to significantly reduce your time spent on social media. Force yourself to be in your real life, where imperfections abound, and get comfortable with the lack of dopamine released in your brain from all the “likes.”
Since main character syndrome thrives on validation and self-promotion, it often looks like fishing for compliments, oversharing online, or stressing about how many likes your posts get.
Of course, we should never feel like a supporting character in our own lives, and we should all view ourselves as having agency over our choices and our identities. It’s a powerful thing to have good self-esteem and confidence.
Ask more questions, and listen actively to the answers. By expressing more curiosity in others, you’ll find an easier balance in your relationships.
Start watching this show/movie you’ve been starring in alone, and pay attention to how you think, behave, and react in different situations. Journal them, ask your loved ones for genuine feedback, and turn self-centeredness into self-awareness.
Learning the name of your local barista, allowing yourself to be surprised by a new restaurant, having wine nights in with your friends (where you’re all equally important co-stars), and dancing around in your home alone are ways that you can feel the romanticism of being in a film without the negative side effects.
Sources: (AZ Magazine) (Psychology Today) (Aisles of Life) (Business Insider) (Glamour UK)
See also: How to spend less time on social media and more time enjoying life
Instead of thinking of yourself as the main character, which is quite unpleasant to be around, a healthier option is to romanticize pieces of your life. This involves no fictionalizing or embellishing, but rather allowing yourself to embrace what is already there, imperfections and all, and acknowledging it as movie-worthy.
That said, Kate Rosenblatt, therapist and senior clinical manager at Talkspace, told Insider that, "'Main character syndrome' refers to identifying as the protagonist in your own life story," and it will surely grab the attention of therapists everywhere as it is crucially a new phenomenon aided by the rise of digital platforms.
Many use Carrie Bradshaw from ‘Sex and the City’ as an example that encapsulates “main character energy,” as she’s often self-centered, entitled, and self-appoints herself as the protagonist by making sure her problems and relationships are always the topic of discussion with her friends.
We’ve all gazed wistfully out of a train or car window, music playing in the background, imagining ourselves and our lives as though from a camera. It’s deliciously indulgent to imagine ourselves as a protagonist, and indeed we are the only characters we’ll ever be in this life, but where is the line?
Social media and Gen Z were quick to find it, and they’ve dubbed it “Main Character Syndrome.” Though not an official diagnosis, many psychologists are now looking into this new phenomenon, from why it’s so prevalent, to the negative effects it can have on your health and your relationships.
Click through to find out what Main Character Syndrome is, the signs that indicate you might have it, and why it’s increasingly important for us to address it.
Signs you might have 'Main Character Syndrome'
Find out what this troubling new condition is all about
LIFESTYLE Psychology
We’ve all gazed wistfully out of a train or car window, music playing in the background, imagining ourselves and our lives as though from a camera. It’s deliciously indulgent to imagine ourselves as a protagonist, and indeed we are the only characters we’ll ever be in this life, but where is the line?
Social media and Gen Z were quick to find it, and they’ve dubbed it “Main Character Syndrome.” Though not an official diagnosis, many psychologists are now looking into this new phenomenon, from why it’s so prevalent, to the negative effects it can have on your health and your relationships.
Click through to find out what Main Character Syndrome is, the signs that indicate you might have it, and why it’s increasingly important for us to address it.