The outsourcing of conflict
Adoption can also be a very expensive process, so it's important to make sure this option is within your means. It can cost upwards of US$40,000 in some places.
If you have been struggling with infertility and this has led you to the adoption option, it's important to consider a few things. Have you fully completed your grieving process? Do you want to adopt in an attempt to heal yourself? Are you settling for the "second choice," or are you truly, genuinely, ready to adopt and care for a child with all of your heart for the rest of your life?
There are many valid and noble reasons to want to adopt a child, but they don't all mean that adoption is exactly right for you. There are innumerable things to consider before starting the adoption process.
Adoption can make families out of children and adults who otherwise wouldn't have the pleasure. It is not only a noble undertaking, but also a beautiful and emotional chance to build connections between those in need of children and those in need of parents. All of that beauty and fulfillment takes a long time to achieve though; the adoption process can be long, confusing, and even overwhelming at times. There is a lot to learn and a lot to do before you'll be ready to welcome your new child into your home. But it's so worth it!
Read on for tips to help prepare you for your life as an adoptive parent.
It's important to understate the importance of making sure your heart is in the right place before adopting, and it's necessary to look at every other aspect of your life.
What do the other relationships in your life look like? Are you and your partner in a stable, happy, and healthy relationship? If you're single and looking to adopt, do you have the financial stability and work flexibility to give your prospective child all of the love and attention they need and deserve? It's important to ask yourself all of these questions.
Understanding the birth parents' perspective is just as important as understanding your own. Equally important is understanding the experience that your prospective child will have as they age and come to understand their unique situation. Make sure you are ready for whatever emotional challenges might come with raising an adopted child.
Embryo adoption is an option for those who are affected by infertility but would still like to experience pregnancy. Embryos donated by other people who have previously undergone in vitro fertilization, or IVF, can be transferred from one parent to the other.
Adoption isn't something to be done on a whim. It is easily the most important and impactful decision you could ever make, and it will change your life forever. Make sure you are truly committed to not only raising a child through adulthood, but being there for them for the rest of your life.
Domestic adoption entails adopting a child from within your own country. This usually means the potential for lots of quality face time with the birth parent(s).
International adoption involves adopting a child from overseas. These adoptions are usually coordinated by a joint organization or organizations, and can involve costly trips to wherever the birth parent(s) lives.
Foster care is often brought up in the same breath as adoption, but what, exactly, is the difference? Foster care differs from adoption in that it is usually a temporary arrangement, with the foster child eventually going back to their birth parents. This also means the child remains the legal responsibility of their birth parent(s) during their time in the care of another family.
Foster adoption is a specialized form of adoption that combines adoption and foster care. With foster adoption, the foster parent prepares to adopt their foster child in the event that, for whatever reason, the birth parents are unable to have their child returned to them.
The adoption process can be long and confusing, but it's all worth it in pursuit of a happy, loving family. Thankfully, there are a wealth of resources available to help you through this journey.
Second-parent adoption is the primary avenue through which stepparents gain legal custody of their stepchild without infringing on the custody rights of the biological parent or parents. Second-parent adoption is also the most commonly used method of adoption for same-sex couples.
The first and possibly most important step is to find a trustworthy adoption agency that meets your needs. A good adoption agency will help walk you through all of the legal red tape, and will screen potential birth parents to match you with.
There are mountains of forms and paperwork that have to be climbed throughout the adoption process, but they are all important. Background checks, identity checks, home exams, and many more bureaucratic hurdles may be time consuming, but they are all there to ensure the safety of the baby.
Something that might surprise new, prospective adopters is that in today's modern world of adoption, frequent and regular meetings with the birth parent(s) are commonplace and highly recommended.
Pre-placement contact like this is extremely helpful to both the birth parent(s) and the prospective adoptive parents. Building a relationship between the two parties helps form a bond of trust and familiarity.
These types of "open adoptions" have proven to be easier, healthier, and more positive for everyone involved, including the child. Open adoptions save all parties from big, uncomfortable talks that can inspire all sorts of emotions, and gives the child a full, happy life free of mystery.
Adoptive parents will also go through intensive parenting training leading up to the day they bring their child home. This training involves everything that biological parents would have to know, with additional emotional education in raising adopted children.
When the big day comes, the birth parent and the adoptive parents will all meet at the hospital and experience birth together. Soon afterwards, the child will go home with the adoptive family and official adoption certificates will be issued.
Open communication like this can save the child from a life of trauma, and will also make things much easier for all adults involved. Studies have shown that there is less friction between family members when the situation is met with openness and honesty.
These meetings help the birth parent(s) learn just who exactly they're entrusting their child to, and allows the adoptive parents to stay involved with the pregnancy and birthing processes.
In open adoptions, the communication doesn't end after birth. Usually, the child and their birth parent(s) will keep in close contact all throughout their life. Open adoptions allow the adoptive and birth parent(s) to slowly explain things to their children as they grow up in a way that will neither shock nor frighten them.
Once you have your baby in your new home, the real work (and the real fun) begins. Ahead of you lies a lifetime of laughter, tears, joy, and love. With the resources provided by your adoption agency, along with the collaboration between you, your possible partner, and your child's birth parent(s), you'll have everything you need to build a beautiful life.
Sources: (Considering Adoption) (American Adoptions) (Ergobaby)
See also: Stars you didn't know were adopted
Adoption offers a beautiful opportunity for individuals who can't conceive biologically to give their love to a child who needs it. Others feel a calling to help children and birth parents who are in need of adoption services, regardless of their own ability to conceive. While these are both very just reasons to adopt a child, it's essential that you consider your reasons carefully, and realize if you can give a child all of the love they need and deserve, and if you're really ready for the commitment of parenthood.
There are many different types of adoption to consider. They all involve slightly different processes, and can cater to the needs of different people.
Birth parents can have various valid reasons for choosing to put their child up for adoption. Some birth parents don't feel ready to raise a child, or believe that childrearing is not within their means. They see adoption as the best chance to give their baby a full and happy childhood.
The adoption process is a long journey. There are many moving parts—waiting lists can be years and years long, and it can sometimes be hard to find the perfect birth parent to partner up with. But patience is key, and if you're truly committed to raising a child, a few extra years shouldn't make a difference.
Everything you need to know when preparing to adopt a child
Tips to help you make the biggest decision of your life
LIFESTYLE Adoption
Adoption can make families out of children and adults who otherwise wouldn't have the pleasure. It is not only a noble undertaking, but also a beautiful and emotional chance to build connections between those in need of children and those in need of parents. All of that beauty and fulfillment takes a long time to achieve though; the adoption process can be long, confusing, and even overwhelming at times. There is a lot to learn and a lot to do before you'll be ready to welcome your new child into your home. But it's so worth it!
Read on for tips to help prepare you for your life as an adoptive parent.