The remnants of the past
If you have older children, consider that they may use TikTok and therefore come across a lot of unfiltered live content of the war. Much of it you will not have seen yourself.
As the war in Ukraine develops, news continues to roll in thick and fast. Much of what we see and hear can be very upsetting, for adults and children alike.
Parents are now facing the decision of whether to talk about the war with their children or not. Some will decide not to, but many will choose to broach the topic in one way or another. If you are a parent in the latter group, you may find yourself wondering how and where to start. Check out this gallery for some tips on how to talk to your children about this tricky topic.
It is worth reminding your child that they should be careful about what they expose themselves to and that it is impossible to ‘unsee’ distressing and potentially scarring content.
It is also a good idea to keep tabs on how much news you consume every day. It is generally better to check in at certain times, rather than being constantly online.
Sources: (UNICEF) (Daily Mail)
See also: War of the words: famous quotes on war
Having touched on the topic of news sources and being discerning about them, it seems important to single out TikTok as a platform that should be treated with particular caution.
Remember that you are in a much better position to help your children if you are coping, too. Your children will fare much better if they feel you are calm and in control.
It is likely a good idea to turn off the TV, particularly around younger or more sensitive children. With older children, you might take the opportunity to discuss the topic of news sources and their reliability.
In the same way, it is important to be careful about the way you discuss the war with other adults while the children are within earshot.
If your child reacts in a strong way to the news and that reaction lasts for a prolonged period of time, you may want to consider getting them specialist support.
As emphasized earlier, the moment you choose for the conversation is important; it is best not to bring up the topic of the war right before bed time, for instance.
As the conflict develops, news will continue to roll in, so it’s important to check in regularly with your child to find out what they are thinking and feeling.
Again, you know your child best. Watch their body language to assess their level of anxiety, and be sure to reassure them whenever necessary.
If you have a child who seems particularly anxious about what is happening, watch for changes in how they behave and feel, such as headaches or problems sleeping.
Remind your child that there are positive stories to be found, such as the volunteers taking in or donating money to support refugees, or young people protesting for peace.
In times of conflict and distress, it is very important that children are aware of the many, many things people are doing to help others.
Focus instead on building compassion, such as for those people who have been forced to flee their homes in pursuit of safety.
Remember that children get their emotional cues from adults, and that it is therefore best not to overshare your own fears and anxieties.
Try your instincts on this one; you know your child best. Whatever your approach, be sure to remain calm, use age-appropriate language, and be sensitive to their level of anxiety.
Where there is conflict, there is stigma, so it’s important to try and spread compassion instead. When talking to your child, try to avoid terms such as ‘bad’ or ‘evil’ people.
Remember that children from different places in the world have different experiences and perspectives. It is not wise to assume your child feels worried just because you do.
It can sometimes be difficult to toe the line between honoring a child’s right to know what is going on in the world and protecting them from undue distress.
When broaching the topic of war with your child, it's worth considering whether they have any past experience of conflict. This is likely to color their current feelings.
Whatever your child’s level of awareness and concern, be sure to acknowledge their feelings and let them know that whatever they are feeling is natural.
Bear in mind that some children may know little about what is going on and not feel worried at all, while others may be very concerned and suffering in silence.
If you do decide to talk to your child about the war, a good place to start is to understand what they know and how they feel. Try to bring the topic up at a natural time, such as over dinner.
You might like to see whether your child is interested in contributing to a positive action, such as participating in a fundraiser. It can be very comforting for a child to know they’re doing good.
If you find yourself feeling anxious, upset, or like you can’t cope, don’t hesitate to reach out to trusted friends and/or family members for support.
A child who has experienced war firsthand is likely to have different feelings than a child who is learning about it for the first time at a distance. Considering this will help you tailor your approach.
How to talk to your children about the war in Ukraine
Some tips for a difficult conversation
LIFESTYLE Parenting
As the war in Ukraine develops, news continues to roll in thick and fast. Much of what we see and hear can be very upsetting, for adults and children alike.
Parents are now facing the decision of whether to talk about the war with their children or not. Some will decide not to, but many will choose to broach the topic in one way or another. If you are a parent in the latter group, you may find yourself wondering how and where to start. Check out this gallery for some tips on how to talk to your children about this tricky topic.