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Depression is by nature a very isolating experience, so the first call to action if you suspect someone is depressed is reaching out, this according to Alisha Powell, a therapist and social worker.
This is because even though a common thing that people do when they’re depressed is to cut themselves off from the world around them, the most beneficial thing someone can do is surround themselves with people.
Everybody has their coping strategies. Just being around the person and them knowing you won’t flee if they cry is enough for them to feel less isolated.
“Don’t be afraid to call or text even if they aren’t super responsive,” says Powell. It might be easier for you to reach out rather than leaving it up to them.
Tessina says that it’s much better to say “sorry that this happened to you” or “you don’t deserve this.”
Tina B. Tessina points out that listening is probably the most important thing, i.e. being there for your friend and listening to them when they’re ready to speak.
A wise approach when it comes to spending an evening with someone who’s going through depression is to keep your expectations low and understand that just sitting with them is okay.
Being open to whatever the person is feeling or the problems they’re experiencing in a non-judgmental fashion is the most important thing in the equation.
Daramus says, “Another person might need to vent. Another person might want you to sit on the sofa with them and watch TV.” The biggest thing is accepting where the person is at.
“Your friend needs someone who can hear whatever the problem is," says Tessina. Listening may take a long time, or go on for several sessions. "Your friend has probably not felt safe to talk about it before this, so it’s bottled up," adds Tessina.
“So, be that friend (if your mate agrees) who takes the lead role and gets you both moving!” says Bethany Cook.
A review from the Boston University School of Medicine found that exercise is a hugely effective way of battling symptoms of depression. With this in mind, inviting your friend to go for a walk or to partake in another physical activity is always useful.
This might mean helping someone with cleaning their dishes. “Ask if you can help tidy up their home environment,” says Steinberg. “Existing in an organized space is not only more comfortable and aesthetically pleasing but it has also been shown to boost people’s moods.”
It’s a delicate conversation to have. You don’t want to imply that the person cannot take care of themselves or their surroundings. Here's a type: flowers are usually a welcomed gift that helps make a room more aesthetically pleasing.
The point is that you’re not trying to fix the person’s problems or telling them things will be better—you are trying to validate their feelings.
Suggesting that someone should see a therapist should also be done very delicately. It might be a good idea to have the name of a good one on hand.
Encourage outside help. Very few people are excited about seeing a professional but it’s something that is often the best call, says Alisha Powell.
If the person is feeling worthless or unwanted, the most valuable thing you can give them is to show them how much you care.
Aimee Daramus, a licensed clinical psychologist, says instead of spending time and energy worrying about what a person wants, just ask!
Depression is a very serious condition. It isn’t just feeling sad, and it can put someone’s life in jeopardy. It’s okay to ask if they have thought about harming themselves, according to Aimee Daramus.
“Keep up the supportive messages, the hopeful words, and stick around,” says Raffi Bilek, therapist and director of the Baltimore Therapy Center. “Just getting the message that you’re not going anywhere can be helpful and encouraging to your friend.”
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If things are more serious, it is likely out of your hands and better handled by professionals. Tessina says: “Don’t worry if your friend said not to tell—that’s just the time when telling may save a life.”
Depression is often described as feeling like you’re moving through solid air, where even the simplest tasks seem impossible. With this in mind, it can be helpful to lend a practical hand.
Understand that you are not expected to be an entertainer or be so funny that it pulls them out of the dark place they’re in. Like when someone experiences a loss in their family, being there is enough.
Bethany Cook, a clinical psychologist, advises avoiding clichés, like "Things will get better," "Tomorrow is another day," "I know how you’re feeling," because, in all honesty, you don’t.
Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and author, also heavily advises against saying clichés like “It’ll get better.”
“Go to visit without any expectations of being entertained,” says Laurel Steinberg, a New York-based relationship therapist. “Sometimes just sitting next to someone and watching a movie can help to remind them that they are worthy of having someone go out of their way for them.”
“You won’t accidentally put the idea in their head, I promise,” says Daramus.
Don’t give up. Don’t expect depression to be something that can be solved overnight or fixed with a single conversation. It can be tempting to give up on a friend when they’re not responsive.
Being supportive is emotionally taxing, so it’s important to take the time to take care of your mental health, too. There may be times where you cannot offer support, and it’s better to be clear and honest in these times.
According to the World Health Organization, more than 264 million people of all ages suffer from depression. It’s a serious, and treatable, condition that causes tremendous pain to the person suffering from it, and can be very painful for those around that person too.
If someone close to you is suffering, you may feel helplessness, fear, anger, guilt, and/or frustration. However, you are not powerless in this situation. There are things you can do to help. To find out what they are, according to leading experts, click through this gallery.
How to support a loved one struggling with depression
Professional advice you can draw inspiration from
HEALTH Psychology
According to the World Health Organization, more than 264 million people of all ages suffer from depression. It’s a serious, and treatable, condition that causes tremendous pain to the person suffering from it, and can be very painful for those around that person too.
If someone close to you is suffering, you may feel helplessness, fear, anger, guilt, and/or frustration. However, you are not powerless in this situation. There are things you can do to help. To find out what they are, according to leading experts, click through this gallery.