What are the origins of this fun-filled festive custom?
People are reluctant to seek professional help because of the lingering stigma, and the vast majority of us simply aren’t equipped to deal with emotional pain ourselves.
We all know, for example, that in order to prevent tooth decay we should brush our teeth once a day, and in order to heal a broken limb we should put it in a plaster cast.
Most of us don’t think twice about going to see a doctor or a dentist if we have a persistent or serious problem that requires medical attention.
When it comes to taking care of our physical health, everyone has an understanding of the basics. We learn lessons about personal hygiene and first aid from a very young age.
And yet when it comes to emotional health, the picture is very different. All too often people don’t treat their emotional health with the same respect as their physical health.
Although it may seem easier not to acknowledge those difficult feelings, in fact that will only allow them to build until they become completely all-consuming.
The first step to take is to pay attention to and acknowledge emotional pain. It's important to fight the instinct to run from psychological health issues such as failure and loneliness.
This one is particularly important in the context of failure. Unfortunately it is our "gut" instinct when we fail at something to focus on and even obsess about our shortcomings.
Naturally this causes us to fail more and then dwell more on our shortcomings–it's a whole vicious circle that needs to be broken if we are to achieve good emotional health.
Next time you fail at something, try to fight the instinct to dwell on it and instead make a list of everything you can do to make sure you do better next time.
Write a letter to that friend showing compassion and support, and then read that letter to yourself. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would treat others.
A good way to build that self-esteem back up is to practice self-compassion. Next time you're feeling bad about yourself, imagine a friend of yours is in the same position.
If you want to be emotionally resilient, having a good level of self-esteem is important. And yet most of us spend a lot of time tearing ourselves down and eroding our own self-esteem.
Loss is a part of life that is unfortunately very traumatic. If it is not handled properly, it can keep us from moving forward and finding enjoyment in life.
Studies show that distracting yourself for just two minutes will reduce your inclination to obsess unhealthily on negative and distressing thoughts.
If you feel yourself ruminating, i.e. dwelling on negative thoughts, try to distract yourself with something, ideally an activity that requires concentration, like a puzzle.
Winch suggests trying to find meaning in the loss and even derive a purpose from it, such as "I've lost my spouse, but I've become closer to my kids."
It is all too easy to replay distressing events and to let negative thoughts spiral, but doing so will only cause deeper and longer-lasting psychological pain.
The best way to rid yourself of excessive feelings of guilt is to apologize. And it shouldn't be just any old apology, but rather one with an "empathy statement."
Although a little bit of guilt can be good when it comes to repairing and maintaining relationships, excessive guilt can be very damaging and energy-consuming.
Most importantly, be sure to check in with your psychological health on a regular basis. Learn to elevate its importance to the same level as your physical health.
Sources: (TED)
See also: Celebs open up about mental health
Learn to understand how you react personally to different emotional wounds and use this to help you choose an emotional first aid treatment (a little bit like choosing pain relief according to the type of physical pain).
An apology is most effective when the person delivering it really puts the feelings of the other person first, rather than focusing on the motivations for their actions or making excuses.
If left untreated, the psychological pain caused by experiences such as guilt, loneliness, and failure can have devastating effects on quality and even length of life.
Mourning is, of course, important, but if after sufficient time has passed you still cannot see a way forward, you should try to change the way you think about your loss.
As soon as you notice persistent feelings of distress, loneliness, or even just a bad mood, be sure to acknowledge that pain and take action to address it.
In 2014, psychologist Guy Winch gave a TED Talk about emotional health and how the majority of us fail to give it the attention it needs and deserves. He spoke about "emotional first aid"–the practice of taking the same level of care of our emotional health as our physical health.
The conversation around mental health has opened and people are increasingly aware of the importance of taking care of their emotional needs. But there is still a long way to go.
Check out this gallery to learn about emotional first aid and how we can practice it.
What is emotional first aid, and how can we practice it?
Top tips for improving your emotional hygiene
LIFESTYLE Mental health
In 2014, psychologist Guy Winch gave a TED Talk about emotional health and how the majority of us fail to give it the attention it needs and deserves. He spoke about "emotional first aid"–the practice of taking the same level of care of our emotional health as our physical health.
The conversation around mental health has opened and people are increasingly aware of the importance of taking care of their emotional needs. But there is still a long way to go.
Check out this gallery to learn about emotional first aid and how we can practice it.