What are the origins of this fun-filled festive custom?
In a situation where one partner provides the other with an allowance, they should not then turn around and dictate how this money should be spent.
If one partner is the breadwinner, the couple will likely have negotiated around this situation. Therefore, the idea of withholding funds from the partner who is not earning is definitely abusive behavior.
If one partner's recklessness has the effect of damaging the other's credit score, this is totally unacceptable and should be avoided wherever possible.
Going overdrawn on a shared account without discussing it first is a definite sign of financial abuse, particularly if the amount is substantial.
If a simple conversation about money always leads to a defensive attitude, this is a clear sign that something is not right.
If you are having financial difficulties, and your partner decides to, for example, make a loan request from your boss without asking you first, this is abusive behavior.
If your partner is racking up significant expenses and not telling you about it, this is evidently abusive and should not be tolerated.
A partnership should be just that. If one partner is trying to be sensible, and save money, and the other is recklessly blowing it, this is a disastrous situation.
If you are not able to have a reasonable conversation about finances with your significant other, then there is clearly something very wrong.
Although this may sound like a kind thing to do, and in some circumstances it may well be, it may also just be a way for one partner to have control over the other.
Any deception in a relationship is a red flag, and hiding bills is no exception. If your partner is hiding bills from you, for any reason, this is a serious cause for concern.
Intimacy and money should be totally separate in your relationship. If intimacy is being used as a bargaining tool, beware. This is totally unacceptable.
It is never okay to steal, and we are taught this from a young age. Stealing from your partner is a particularly pernicious thing to do.
If you find that your partner has sold items that belong to you, or even shared with others, without asking you first, this is a massive problem, and is actually illegal.
If your partner wants to control you by making you dependent on them, they may deliberately sabotage you by trying to make you late to work, and getting you fired. This would be an outrageously abusive thing to do, but they may be trying to do it nonetheless.
If a couple comes to an agreement regarding their earning status, i.e. who will be a stay-at-home parent, that is totally fine. But once this arrangement has been made, it is profoundly abusive to try and hold this against them.
If one partner is consistently demanding evidence of how the other has spent money, this is a huge sign that there is no trust in the relationship.
If your partner demands that you consult them for every single little expense, this is an extremely controlling and unreasonable way to behave.
If your partner makes you feel bad for asking for money for even absolute essentials, like toiletries and hygiene products, this is a very obvious sign of financial abuse.
If a hugely expensive item is bought without one partner consulting the other, this is financially abusive. It is always wrong for one partner to make a major decision without their partner's consent.
If you share a bank account with your partner, which is very common, especially in a marriage, you should both have full access to it at all times.
If you maintain your own private account, which is certainly an advisable thing to do, your partner has no right to demand access to it from you.
If your partner intentionally damages something of value that belongs to you, this is most definitely a form of financial abuse. Not only that, it is also a form of violence.
If your partner is making constant demands of your time and energy, this is bad enough. If this then spills over into distracting you at work with constant calls or messages, and stopping you from being able to do your job properly, this is a huge red flag.
If there is a significant problem surrounding one partner's financial situation, they have a responsibility to let the other partner know about it. Not doing so could lead to serious issues.
Even if you are married, it is illegal for your spouse to take out credit in your name without asking! This is one of the worst forms of financial abuse, and should not be tolerated for a second.
If one partner earns more than the other, and is constantly putting the other down for not being more successful, this is yet another clear case of financial abuse.
If you express a desire to make a positive change in your life or career, which may even involve greater financial gain, but your partner doesn't support you, this is a clear warning sign.
While one partner returning to education may be a financial hit for a couple, if the decision is a positive long-term aspiration then it should be discussed and given serious consideration. If your partner is dismissive, this may be an abusive form of control.
If a couple has an arrangement between them regarding who will pay which bills etc., that is fine, as long as both partners are ok with it. However, not keeping to this agreement is completely unacceptable.
If reading through this gallery has made you question your relationship, click here to find out even more about just how toxic the situation may be.
Arguing about money is the most likely reason for a couple to divorce, which just shows how huge of an issue it can be. However, not all arguments are equal, and it may be that one partner is the abuser, and the other is the abused.
There are many warning signs to look out for in a financially abusive relationship.
Take a look through our gallery to see if any of these sound familiar. If they do, perhaps it's time to take a close and cautious look at your relationship.
This gallery was inspired by Self-Made.
Signs of financial abuse in a relationship
Some bad signs to look out for
LIFESTYLE Money
Arguing about money is the most likely reason for a couple to divorce, which just shows how huge of an issue it can be. However, not all arguments are equal, and it may be that one partner is the abuser, and the other is the abused.
There are many warning signs to look out for in a financially abusive relationship.
Take a look through our gallery to see if any of these sound familiar. If they do, perhaps it's time to take a close and cautious look at your relationship.
This gallery was inspired by Self-Made.