▲“Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.”

▲“You have to be 100% behind someone before you can stab them in the back.”

▲“If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.”

▲“I’d like to thank God for making me an atheist.”

▲“Following someone on Twitter and asking them to tweet about something else is like stalking someone and asking them to go a different route.”

▲“Please don’t worship me. I’m just an ordinary guy, with lots of followers trying to spread my message. Sort of like Jesus Christ I guess.”

▲“Give a man a fish, and he’ll probably follow you home expecting more fish.”

▲“Welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous! No–purely social. I know someone who is an alcoholic and it is no laughing matter–particularly for his wife. And she’s got alopecia. So… not a happy home life.”

▲"Ebony and ivory. No more racism now. That one’s done."

▲“Being on the edge isn’t as safe, but the view is better.”

▲“Remember, when someone says ‘you’ve changed,’ it usually just means you’ve stopped living your life their way.”

▲

"Got a proper job at 28. Gave it up to try comedy at 38. Decided to get fit and healthy at 48. It’s never too late. But do it now.”

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“The best advice I’ve ever received is, ‘No one else knows what they’re doing either.’”

▲“Telling someone with depression to pull themselves together is about as useful as telling someone with cancer to just stop having cancer.”

▲“Some of you are really smart. You know who you are. Some of you are really thick. Unfortunately, you don’t know who you are.”

▲"Grown adults refusing to take medication in favor of prayer is my favorite form of natural selection."

▲"I see atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn’t believe in God the most. Oh, no… wait… that never happens."

▲“It’s going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie (Sheen) calls it: Breakfast.”

▲“I like a drink as much as the next man. Unless the next man is Mel Gibson.”

▲“My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela. What a man. Incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990 and he hasn’t reoffended. I think he’s going straight, which shows you prison does work.”

▲“Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.”

▲“Mondays are fine. It’s your life that sucks.”

▲“I could solve the world’s problems if I… cared.”

▲“I can have a go at the French cause I’m half French half English with a stupid name like Gervais. No, I am, I’m half French half English and um I’ve got qualities of both, French and English which is good, so um… I am cr*p in bed but at least I’ve got bad breath.”

▲“Same-sex marriage is not a gay privilege, it’s equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying taxes. Like churches don’t.”

▲“I’ve never worked out what the moral of Humpty Dumpty is. I can only think of: Don’t sit on a wall, if you’re an egg.”

▲“For any of you who don’t know, the Golden Globes are just like the Oscars, but without all that esteem. The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton. A bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker, and more easily bought.”

▲

Since his success co-writing and starring in the original, British version of 'The Office,' Ricky Gervais has become a household name. In celebration of his now fifth time as host of the Golden Globes, let's look back on some of his best quotes, jokes, and one-liners. Click on!

Ricky Gervais' funniest one-liners

The comedian turns 62 on June 25

23/06/23 por StarsInsider

CELEBRITY Funny

Since his success co-writing and starring in the original, British version of 'The Office,' Ricky Gervais has become a household name. Besides being Mr. Golden Globes, he's also one of the most popular faces on the Netflix line up. In celebration of his upcoming birthday, let's look back on some of his best quotes, jokes, and one-liners. Click on!