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Chuck Norris is an American actor and martial artist who, over time, has been immortalized by a series of jokes and memes. If someone tells a Chuck Norris joke in the woods and he's not around to hear it, will that person still die at the hands of Chuck? Yes. Chuck Norris hears everything.
In celebration of his long career and superhuman fighting skills, here is a list of the top 40 Chuck Norris jokes that will give you a roundhouse kick to the stomach.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity—twice.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded.
Guns carry Chuck Norris for protection.
When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris's hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
If, by some paradox in the space/time continuum, Chuck Norris were ever to fight himself, he'd win.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. He has never cried.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor.
A collection of hilarious Chuck Norris jokes
Death once had a near-Chuck experience
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Chuck Norris is an American actor and martial artist who, over time, has been immortalized by a series of jokes and memes. If someone tells a Chuck Norris joke in the woods and he's not around to hear it, will that person still die at the hands of Chuck? Yes. Chuck Norris hears everything.
In celebration of his long career and superhuman fighting skills, here is a list of the top 40 Chuck Norris jokes that will give you a roundhouse kick to the stomach.